Barney-guarding job

A job that requires absolutely no skill or talent, except for a complete lack of self-respect. Usually the kind of job one seeks after being fired from distributing flyers for a porno theater.

The term is derived from an episode from The Simpsons where Mr. Smithers, desperate for a job after being fired by Mr. Burns, inquires after a Help Wanted sign at Moe's. The job is pretty simple: distract Barney Gumbel until the midnight beer delivery is safely transacted. According to Homer, it's a job that many of them have only contemplated in the darkest moments of their lives.

Bill: Yo, how'd the job hunt go?

Evan: Terrible. I had to take an internship to a fishmonger.

Bill: Man, that's a Barney-guarding job.

Evan: I know. I think I'm going to bed. Don't bother me.

by ChrisJLee March 9, 2007

Goose-guarding

A New Zealand word used commonly in children's games roughly equivalent to camping in video games.

Kid 1: I'm not moving until you leave the safe zone.
Kid 2: No goose-guarding!
Kid 1: Okay, fine! I'll just run around the whole court until you leave then instead.

by Deepecologist October 26, 2018

puppy guarding

When a person guards a "safe" or "base" spot during a game of tag, forcing the person at the base to get tagged when they come out.

"Hey, thats not fair, no puppy guarding!"

by Daniela K October 29, 2006

Go Guardian

A tool that teachers use as carelessly as when a kid finds a Panzerkampfwagon IV tank.

That stupid teacher used the Go Guardian on me.

by GarfMasterGlob October 2, 2019

Glucose Guardian

Gender neutral equivalent of Sugar Daddy.

"They're my Glucose Guardian. Su"

by Definite_Faller December 10, 2017

Blind Guardian

Cool Power Metal band. Probably one of the most talented in musicianship and songwriting, up there with Helloween. Not so great but still excellent power metal bands are Iced Earth, Manowar, Rhapsody. Power Metal bands usually write songs which are Fantasy,Folk Lore, and Historic Based songs.

Dude, Blind Guardian played at the Amphitheater, and it PWNT! Were you there?

OMFG MY LIFE IS T3H 0V3R I missed BG!!!!!!!!!

by Nilknarf May 13, 2005

Guarding the beer

Making out/ hooking up, primarily in a party setting. Typically in front of the beer/keg/etc. and effectively "guarding" any other party goers from reaching it.

They were guarding the beer for hours. Though I must admit they did a good job, nobody bothered taking any of the beer that was behind them.

by Gohawks91 January 24, 2011