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Kit Johnson

Kit Johnson was the name of a British servant who lived from 1893-1936. He was the first person to be used a 'Gimp' by the King Edward VII. They used sheep skin and cow leather to create the infamous 'Gimp Suit' known today. Kit was forced to partake in violent homosexual acts, including rough anal sex and frequent felacio. Kit Johnson was found dead in his hotel room on March 4th 1936 due to contracting AIDS from his homosexual relations.
Shaye: "What's Kirsten doing tonight?"

Trisha: "He's in A&E getting blood tests for his AIDS. Heard he got fucked in the ass all night"

Shaye: "Wow. What a Kit Johnson."
by Shaye "Fuck my asshole" Quinn January 20, 2021
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Mr. Johnson

Mr. Johnson is a pretty amazing music teacher. He’s an introvert at heart but with music, he is like a whole different person. His instrument is the trombone. He’s super sweet, nice, funny and just a good person to be around. Depending on how much time/class periods you have with him, he can become a “father figure”. Some people could refer to him as “dad”. If you have a Mr. Johnson in your life, you will be grateful that he is and that you are able to talk to him about pretty much anything.
Girl in choir: I just absolutely love choir!
Boy: Why? Is it because of Mr. Johnson?

Boy in band: Mr. Johnson is so cool that he plays the trombone!
by Freklz March 5, 2021
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Boris Johnson

by MORONBORIS July 16, 2022
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Kevin johnson

has a big as cock and has sex with women everyday And when he does he moans
Kevin Johnson has a big as cock and moans
by Kevin johnson's cock November 30, 2021
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johnson bar

A tool used by 'railroad engineers' (now archaic on modern locomotives and loading docks)

1) A Johnson Bar, aka "J"-bar, is a lever-dolly; (a wheeled prybar having an extended handle and a deep reverse-beveled nose-iron), which is used to jockey heavy apparatus into position.

2) A hand lever with several distinct positions and a positive clutch to hold the lever in the selected position. The positive clutch is typically activated with a spring-loaded squeeze handle on the lever so that only one hand is needed to release the clutch, move the lever, then reengage the clutch.

3) Sometimes used in a sexual context since a 'j bar' looks like...you know.

4) If used would be considered an archaic term except you can still purchase them in tool catalogs.
girl: Geez you really know what to do with that 'johnson bar'.

guy: It's is really hard when you have a name like 'Willie', 'John', 'Crapper', or 'Quisling'. Everyone makes a big joke out of it. Kind of like being a 'Li' from China or 'Smith' from the US. However, Archimedes said, "Give me a big enough lever, and I will move the world."
The US census says that the 20 most common names are: Smith 1.01%, Johnson 0.81%, Williams 0.70%, Jones 0.62%, Brown 0.62%, Davis 0.48%, Miller 0.42%, Wilson 0.34%, Moore 0.31%, 0. Taylor 0.31%, Anderson 0.31%, Thomas 0.31%, Jackson 0.31%, White 0.28%, Harris 0.28, Martin 0.27%, Thompson 0.27%, Garcia 0.25%, Martinez 0.23%, Robinson 0.23%, Clark 0.23%, Rodriguez 0.23%, Lewis 0.23%, Lee 0.22%, Walker 0.22% Hall 0.20%, Allen 0.20%, Young 0.19%, Hernandez 0.19%, and King 0.19%

girl: Damn, I know what you mean my name is Taylor Willamina Martinez-Johnson.
by thepiffler October 27, 2008
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Bombaclot Johnson

"My Bombaclot Johnson don't work, you see?"
by bob the builder May 13, 2005
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Anal Johnson

!. Anal Johnson: Man who works in the saloon and keeps things nice and clean.

2. The Anal Johnson: guy who inserts his toe in your anus, while you are blowing him, in an unexpected fashion.
1. Bob: Did that guy just spit in the beer mug he's cleaning? What the fuck??
Brandon: Shhhh. Thats Anal Johnson, he don't like it dirty or obscene...and he owns a fucking shot gun.

2. Bob: What the fuck are you doing down there, the Anal Johnson??
Brandon: I'm just trying to make it better for you. (weeps)
by Mr. Spider December 27, 2011
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