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How Christians Read the Bible

By presupposing it's truth and then create a narrative that is parallel to the text and then accepting this adjacent narrative AS TRUTH... Regardless of what the text actually says.
Hym "And then what they do is believe the narrative that is constructed around the text... In spite of the FACT that it is a manifestation of their own mind. So, it doesn't matter WHAT YOU SAY... As long as the conclusion is that the religion is both true and good. And it looks something like this:

Dr. JeepJorp "Flabbity florbity flip flop! Everyone KNOWS that flabbity florbity flip flop and that = the Bible true and good!"

Sheeple "Hey! I'm everyone! You're right! I know that, I mean, come on. Do you think I don't know that flabbity florbity flip flop? Everyone know it!"

Hym "And that's how Christians read the Bible."
by Hym Iam June 14, 2024
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Why I don't trust the Bible

Holy shit, it's like watching Jesus get flogged! That was brutal! That whole debate was just brutal!
Hym "Except I don't think I'd actually laugh at the sight of Jesus getting flogged. I might masterbate though, bah dum ts! Sad wank for Jesus! Why I don't trust the bible? More like 'why you don't want the sauce!' Got this nigga lookin like he never even SEEN a book!"
by Hym Iam June 19, 2024
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Troll Bible

The Bible of trolling written by the GhettoJesus Savatar.
by Sav TheSavatar August 5, 2024
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The troll bible

A Bible of compiled trolls (satirical reaction methods)written by the ghetto Jesus Savatar.
by Sav the nomad August 5, 2024
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Bible

A book that explains how to sexually abuse a child and get away with it.
Can you pass me the Bible. I’m gonna need it this Sunday.
by JesusChrist/God January 17, 2023
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dih on the bible

When someone's pressing you and you want to tell them you're telling the truth; similar to "on god"
Person 1: "say on god you wasn't texting my girl"
Person 2: "dih on the bible bro i ain't like that"
by arcanev4 April 18, 2025
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