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Jared on the Chaired

Jared on the Chaired is a magical elf who only sits on chairs & is much more critical on reports to santa than typical elves. Jared also explodes on christmas and shows back up again the next year.
Be good! Jared on the Chaired is watching!
by notoeduw December 21, 2024
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Jared

The largest douche bag on the planet. Has both mommy and daddy issues. Fails to comprehend even the most simplistic sentences and ideas. When he speaks everyone who hears it is instantly made dumber. He fails in school, in life, and in every other way possible. He is more unattractive than a $20 dollar a night motel bathroom. He thinks that the world is flat and that science is something you drink. His clothing choices have all the charm of a Klan rally. Jared likes his mom... a little too much. Jared is descended from a long line of complete morons, and he lives up to the standard his ancestors set.
Jared is the douche bag that married dated his mother.
by JimBobCooter1969 February 6, 2019
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Jared

A weirdo, he is a very sensitive especially when you ask him if he has toothpaste on his face. He knows what he wants in life hint hint it’s baseball. He’ll ask you to “chill” but then always drops out of plans. By the way when you see his chin it hangs down like a chicken.
by Littlechickenmaker January 23, 2019
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Jared

Nawala’s finest drug dealer
Is it a bird, is it a plane...No...It’s Jared’
by Gavin Bertram Klyn November 23, 2021
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Jared Character

A character that is orange weird and wacky
by bignbomb74 April 23, 2021
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jared special

When the woman shoves a Subway sandwich up your ass while giving you a blowjob. This occurs only when you yell "EAT FRESH"
Eileen gave her husband a Jared special.
by Carl, god of all that is holy February 28, 2018
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jared swanson

A cool guy with some rad shades and some sick ball moves.
DAYUMMM, look at Jared Swanson crossing that ball over in them rad shades!!!
by JOETHEAVERAGEWHITEGUY November 3, 2017
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