Field hockey is an illegitimate “sport” that is played by unathletic girls who can’t play real sports.
Field hockey players are typically referred to as pussies because there is virtually no contact in this
game yet there are so many precautionary measures.
Field hockey players like to think that their “sport” is the lovechild of
soccer and hockey, but they
fail to remember that
soccer is the world’s most popular sport and requires their players to be completely physically
fit. They also
fail to remember that hockey requires skill as it is on ice and it is somewhat difficult to skate on its own.
Another reason for its illegitimacy is the fact that the players wear *skirts. Female soccer players, basketball players, softball players, volleyball players, swimmers, gymnasts, and so many other real sports wear shorts, pants, spandex, suits, but no skirts.
Field hockey earns its place next to ultimate frisbee, bowling, and golf as a wannabe sport.
*
Yes, I am aware that most female lacrosse players wear skirts, but
lacrosse is a Native American tradition, and should not be a competitive sport.
Field Hockey
Player: Wow! I just finished the most intense field
hockey practice we’ve had all season! We just ran three miles!
Soccer
Player: Wow, what a good, refreshing warmup! When does your real practice start?
