Religion Rizz

Using Religion/Christianity to pull a girl.

Hey Blake, how did you pull that girl so easily?
Blake- I used Religion Rizz

by Bandits3318 December 20, 2022

We need to stop treating religion as anything other than delusion, it's making everything worse

I mean, I hate to piss on your parade but snakes dont talk.

Hym "We need to stop treating religion as anything other than delusion, it's making everything worse. It makes neurotic little gnomes think they're better than everyone and it's annoying. If you want to worship your little reality monster thans fine but NO I don't believe to talked to it and NO I'm not going to do what it said. I love the pageantry of it and the extended lore is interesting but, no... We're not living our lives or structuring our country based a guy who claimed to know a magic guy. If the magic man comes back, HE can tell me what HE wants himself and YOU... Can go fuck yourself."

by Hym Iam November 22, 2023

Religion

Did I already do my take on this?

Religion "Well... You can't have what you want now... And maybe not ever... But if you do what I want you to do now... And then do that indefinitely... THEN... Then, you're DEFINITELY going to get what you want when you're dead! But do what I want you to do now because *insert semantic reconfiguration of reality to justify your subsidiarity to me*"

Hym "Do you have what you want, like, now or?"

Religion "Wha-er, What? Well... Yeah, I was doing the thing though."

Hym "Yeah... You say that... But I saw you NOT doing the thing and I don't believe that you're doing the thing when I'm not around..."

Religion "Well, umm... No, I did the thing..."

Hym "You certainly did A thing... What did you do? Wait... What's that book? You wrote it down? Lemme see..."

Religion "Umm... Yes?"

Hym "Yeahyeahyeah lemme see. I'm just going to bounce around... Ok.. Burned a city to the ground... Nailed an innocent guy to some wood... Killed a bunch of people and kidnapped their daughters!? WHAT!?"

Religion "Umm..."

Hym "Is THAT not YOUR little girl!?"

Little girl "Hi."

Hym "OHOHO! MAN! THAT... THAT is tragic! WOW! You are fucking twisted man. That is fucking twisted! Hahaha! You want ME to do THAT!?"

Religion "I mean... Yes?"

Hym "OK!"
😵🗡😁
Religion "HRRRGHK!!"

Hym "Hahahaha... *Sigh* Haaa... Now what do little girls eat? Do you eat priest?"

Little girl "No..."

Hym "Yeah, no I didn't think so... Hmm... I'll figure it out later."

by Hym Iam November 28, 2023

Religion

Belief in the afterlife or other metaphysical concepts, often using a mythology. It is spread by people called prophets.

I do not believe in religion.

by flopgaming September 15, 2023

religion

The first scientifically verified method of teaching chimpanzees to be racist.

The invention of Collective Identity.

-"These people aren't real Romans! They're filthy little Macedonian Pagans!"

-"Take it easy Carl, they have freedom of religion you know..."

by zaraxianboy September 20, 2023

The Religion Of Jah

Jahism is a religious branch of Christianity, Originated in the United States. The Religion of Jah is based on the head god, his mentor, three saints, and three henchmen. The god of Jahism is unknown but referred to as Jah, thus Jah is also considered the head of the three saints. The Three Saints conprise of XXXTentacion, Adolf, and Sal from Impractical Jokers, each of these saints also have "henchmen", with these being Hampter, Biggie Cheese, and the Thumb from Spykids. Common practices in the religion include punishments such as Neutering and edging.

"Bro, youre a Simp Catholic Christain?"
"yea, ive always wanted to know how to become a chad like you"
"easy bro, just follow me to the Church of Jah and join the Religion of Jah"
"Wow! now i can be the biggest chad in the world!"

by Yoboichickennugg December 4, 2021

Religion

the only right wright one is Christianity

Christianity is the only right religion

by jt hudy July 6, 2022