Corporate Tortograph Theory states that in the world of late-stage capitalism, the human impulse for creativity has been channeled so exclusively towards marketing that almost any absurd collection of words, names, or syllables is likely to coenside with a real-world entity, person, or organization of some sort, often in the corporate sphere.
“Jesse, I typed “Gortco” into Google and came up with a page for a random Norwegian company… just another proof for Corporate Tortograph Theory.”
by Galaxy94 June 30, 2023
Get the Corporate Tortograph Theory mug.An individual employee at a Fortune 500 company that exceeds the bar within their respective role all while being the baddest bitch in AND outside the office 💅🏾
Dashawn works for a big tech company and is always on his grind. Accolades on accolades left to right! I see him on IG traveling, shaking ass. Ugh such a Corporate Baddie!
by NYC Truth July 28, 2023
Get the Corporate Baddie mug.When someone is so fed up with a company or product they wait until the majority of employees gets off work and then sprays them with bullets comming down the front stairs to replace their staff and solve the problem.
Did you fix the problem with your computer?
No, it's not user error, I'm going to have to do a corporate driveby.
No, it's not user error, I'm going to have to do a corporate driveby.
by WGstyles July 29, 2023
Get the Corporate Driveby mug.Corporate bulimia is when companies grow uncontrollably then inevitably layoff people when they miss their growth forecasts. They "binge" via aggressive hiring, acquisitions and mergers, only to then "purge" via planned and unplanned mass layoffs. Results in a perpetually demoralized, depressed and anxious staff of survivors who then repeat the process until eventually the company goes bankrupt or is sold for parts. Rarely a company actually survives this cycle, thereafter attempting to appear healthy to outsiders while employees continue to suffer in silence. The term is an analogy comparing the neurotic growth of companies to the devastating illness bulimia nervosa, an eating disorder. All-too-often found in vainglorious Silicon Valley growth-focused companies.
"Another ten thousand wage slave layoffs were announced today in the latest rounds of corporate bulimia."
by GarethBeaumains August 15, 2023
Get the Corporate bulimia mug.(1) When a company makes a change to its structure, platform, or logo to bandwagon political correctness. This is to virtue signal and/or make good their past misdeeds, but realistically it was all for raising revenue through marketing.
While proclaiming their altruism and stroking their egos, the businessmen at the top stroke something else at a corporate circle jerk knowing fully well that dollar bills are about to rain down on them.
Person 1:
Did you know it's June already?
Person 2:
When did you find out?
Person 1:
All the major brands changed their logos.
Person 2:
*sighs* The corporate circle jerk is upon us.
Person 1:
Did you know it's June already?
Person 2:
When did you find out?
Person 1:
All the major brands changed their logos.
Person 2:
*sighs* The corporate circle jerk is upon us.
by Baron von Beuge August 20, 2023
Get the Corporate Circle Jerk mug.(Adjective) used to describe someone being a try-hard and just an all around asshole to the public. He/she pulls people over for going 5mph over the limit. Old ladies are not safe either
“I just got pulled over by Corporal Bailey. What a douche bag. He was red in the face because I had a handicap placard hanging from my mirror!”
by buttchicken6969 September 22, 2025
Get the Corporal Bailey mug.by CONSPICUOUS. September 23, 2025
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