Don't count your chicken heads before they swallow

This is my adaptation of the old saying "Don't count your chickens before they hatch". It essentially means the same thing which is not to depend/rely on something until you actually posses it, or it has come to fruition (although this has a more sexual and masaginistic twist to it).

Jeremy Conway, inventor of the jarvik artificial heart, is counting on buying a new car with money he'd potentially make from manufacturing DMT, a highly potent psychedelic tryptamine, in his home laboratory and illegally distributing it on the street to worthless junkies. His intentions are to use his new car to carry out a violent and fatal drive-by shooting on this kid mitch who punked him on some fake molly, a powerful version of the popular rave drug ecstasy. His lover/best friend, rat-tail, knows there is a high likelihood that a number of things could go wrong and that he might not actually make the money he intends on making and may even get popped or blow up his house during the process of refining the DMT. He says to his home girl rat-tail, "Yo biatch when I get me that sweet 97' Plymouth Prowler we're gonna go bust some caps in 'dem asses son". Rat-tail replies "Yo I know your penis is gargantuan and what not, but how do you know you are going to get that cheddar, to get that ride, to put down those trifling ass punk bitches? I mean all I'm saying Jeremy Conway, inventor of the jarvik artificial heart, Don't count your chicken heads before they swallow".

by The Dark Anus (JC) November 28, 2007

Count Dickula

1. A phenomenally creative dirty talk phrase for a male lover
2. An unpleasant person

1. "Oh God, Count Dickula, keep it up!" Sally said.

2. James: Haha, put shit in your locker

Dylan: Fuck off, Count Dickula

by LRayboi March 6, 2011

Counter Meal

It's a meal eaten at the counter of a bar or pub in Australia. It's generally a single set meal for the day that can be ordered at a pub.

Jack and John popped into the pub and enjoyed a hearty counter meal of roast beef, potatoes and peas.

by peanutbutterjellygirl June 21, 2012

count it dog

when a nigga or gangsta says count it dog then he means "cumon bitch fuck (with) me" or "count secs until i shoot ur pighead"

or "bring it on"

u bitch, count it dog

by ff3wsef May 6, 2010

The Final Countdown

The closing moments before something big happens.

Person 1 “Dude it’s the final countdown before T-series passes pewdiepie in subscribers! Why haven’t you subbed to Pewds yet?!”
Person 2 “I’m so sorry i didn’t realize it was so close! I’m gonna go subscribe to him on YouTube right now.

by thehamwithcheese March 4, 2019

counterintuitive

1) counter to what intuition would lead one to expect
2) weird
3) f***ed up
4) my favorite word

oh, its the opposite of what I thought it would be...ooo! I can use my favorite word! IT'S COUNTERINTUITIVE!!!!

by meIsayI October 28, 2008

Counter-Strike

An extremely popular mod for the Half-Life PC game in which the terrorist team tries to place a bomb as the counter terrorist team keeps them from doing so. Also referred to as CS.

I was playing Counter-Strike last night when a bunny-hopping n00b deagled me.

by pingz January 28, 2003