Keeping the doctor away

shoving apple slices up your bum. also referred to as Doing the Newton and Baking a pie

You want to go out to the club tonight?

I can't. I'm keeping the doctor away so I gotta stay close to the john

by Irma Gurd October 3, 2013

Keep the tea in the pot

when you have something to say about somebody or something but you decide to keep it to yourself. also known as spilling tea when you tell someone about what happened.

did you hear about Jason,never mind I’m going to keep the tea in the pot.

by lilv February 26, 2018

Keep a kosher home

When a Jew will eat non kosher food when they're out but keeps kosher at home. An act of illogical hypocrisy but is ever so popular among secular Jews.

Dan: Alright Jim what do you want on your pizza?

Jim: Ham and pineapple please.
Dan:No Jim! That's not kosher!
Jim:Dan you don't even keep kosher! I've seen you eat bacon cheeseburgers a dozen times!

Dan:I eat non kosher out but I keep a kosher home!
Jim:That's such bullshit!

by mrperson123 January 22, 2020

keep that fatty up

A girl with a large butt. Keeping it up to either keep twerking or for intercourse from behind.

Girl keep that fatty up

by Little Pajaro October 30, 2017

Keep it under the rug

Similar to keeping it under the table, but a bit more descrete. Like if you were to hide everything under a rug to "clean" your room

Im going to give you extra tater tots, but keep it under the rug

by Lil'red November 1, 2013

Keep Me Texted

Based off of the expression "keep me posted," a way of asking someone to stay in touch via text message

Older brother: Thanks for a great night! See you soon.
Younger brother: Sounds good, keep me texted. Do you want to play some Mario Kart online later tonight?
Older brother: Maybe, I'll keep you texted!
Younger brother: Yeah, keep me texted!

by Caesar Is Home January 25, 2015

Keep you in line

Ensure that one is behaving according to the prescribed conduct.

When I asked the drill Sargeant why he's always yelling at me, he said "to keep you in line."

by D. Y. Vetz September 29, 2020