news

Something that literally only exists just to ruin your day

Bob: Damn today feels like it's gonna be a great day, time to turn on the TV and sit back and relax
(We interrupt this marathon of this (insert show) to bring you breaking news coverage)
The News: Hey Y'all! Two billion people just randomly fucking died!
Bob: ......The fuck? I just wanted to watch my show.... The hell do I even have a TV anymore anyway?

by IntergalactalEnergy November 12, 2023

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The lying and false media that’s shoved down the throat to protect their own job security, filled with sexual innuendo and fake peoples.

I have been watching the News, Santa, and it sure makes people angry.

by GrimAngel December 17, 2022

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news

A soap opera for those who fancy themselves too sophisticated for soap operas.

When I was younger I followed The Young and The Restless, but now that I'm mature and wise I follow The News.

by Ratched, RN August 28, 2019

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There isn’t enough of it! I don’t have enough of it! But what do I do? If only there was a place I could go to get... not less of it. It’s like... I have some of it but... the amount I have is insufficient... so I need to fine a place that has an increased amount of news.... and I need a tasty treat! Like a burnt marshmallow on a graham cracker. Or the best flavor of pop tart.

Hym “This made a good point about how you guy operate. You have to simultaneously frame me as both benign and incredibly dangerous for what you’re doing to work. (Get the name? You’re see how that works?) I sat in on a video today and holy shit are you getting trolled! Big time! You are in absolute denial of what’s happening here. No wonder he’s obsessed with getting the anonymous users banned. But you’ll sign off on this. You are all nuts-world. ‘My book says I’m good!’ Are you doing the book? ‘The books says I don’t have to do the book!’ Then how are you good? And that leads me to my next thought puzzle: Would you do what the book said if it meant evil would win? You can’t be good if you don’t do the book but doing the book means that someone who doesn’t do the book can use it against you. News... Just news.”

by Hym Iam December 02, 2022

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