(n.) / (v.) fear-flex
Definition: When someone puts on a big show of being “afraid” so the room pivots around them—making another person look sketchy or guilty without naming any real behavior. Low-key a control move.
Definition: When someone puts on a big show of being “afraid” so the room pivots around them—making another person look sketchy or guilty without naming any real behavior. Low-key a control move.
“Dude was just waiting for a ride and she hit a fear flex—now security’s hovering.”
“Manager fear-flexed and acted like the new kid was a problem, even though nothing happened.”
“One fear flex at the door and the whole vibe went ‘safety meeting.’”
Also: fear-flexing (gerund)
“Manager fear-flexed and acted like the new kid was a problem, even though nothing happened.”
“One fear flex at the door and the whole vibe went ‘safety meeting.’”
Also: fear-flexing (gerund)
by Jrock01 October 16, 2025
Get the fear flexmug. by NavyGarlic December 21, 2019
Get the Flex Tapemug. 
Flex Officer (noun):
An elite-tier desk goblin who lives rent-free under the Captain’s desk, occasionally surfacing to breathe through their nose holes and remind everyone that “they’re special.” Born from the unholy union of nepotism and weaponized whining, the Flex Officer is the workplace equivalent of a trust fund baby who thinks mopping is a hate crime.
They don’t work at the jail — they grace it with their presence.
They don’t get mandated — they get massaged.
Their radio isn’t even connected — it’s just Bluetooth synced to Spotify where they’ve got a playlist titled “Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.”
Key Attributes:
• Can hold their breath under a desk for 2 hours straight if Daddy Captain is rubbing their back and whispering, “You’re my little soldier.”
• Cries “unfair!” with the power of a soap opera widow anytime someone asks them to… do their actual job.
• Works half a shift, takes a full lunch, and still needs a mental health day from the trauma of watching other people do things.
Hierarchy of Enablers:
• Daddy Captain: Wears khakis so tight you can hear his thighs beg for help. Bends rules like he bends over to scratch the Flex Officer’s belly.
• Mommie Lieutenant: Pretends to discipline but calls them “my baby” when no one’s looking.
• Uncle Lou: Definitely has something sketchy going on!
Fun Fact:
The Flex Officer once got an award for “Most Improved” after showing up to roll call on time… once… in 2019.
An elite-tier desk goblin who lives rent-free under the Captain’s desk, occasionally surfacing to breathe through their nose holes and remind everyone that “they’re special.” Born from the unholy union of nepotism and weaponized whining, the Flex Officer is the workplace equivalent of a trust fund baby who thinks mopping is a hate crime.
They don’t work at the jail — they grace it with their presence.
They don’t get mandated — they get massaged.
Their radio isn’t even connected — it’s just Bluetooth synced to Spotify where they’ve got a playlist titled “Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.”
Key Attributes:
• Can hold their breath under a desk for 2 hours straight if Daddy Captain is rubbing their back and whispering, “You’re my little soldier.”
• Cries “unfair!” with the power of a soap opera widow anytime someone asks them to… do their actual job.
• Works half a shift, takes a full lunch, and still needs a mental health day from the trauma of watching other people do things.
Hierarchy of Enablers:
• Daddy Captain: Wears khakis so tight you can hear his thighs beg for help. Bends rules like he bends over to scratch the Flex Officer’s belly.
• Mommie Lieutenant: Pretends to discipline but calls them “my baby” when no one’s looking.
• Uncle Lou: Definitely has something sketchy going on!
Fun Fact:
The Flex Officer once got an award for “Most Improved” after showing up to roll call on time… once… in 2019.
You: “Why the hell am I getting mandated again?”
• Sergeant: “Flex Officer said he has emotional allergies to night shift, so Daddy wrote him a note and gave him a juice box.”
• You: aggressively Googling ‘how to fake your own death with minimal paperwork’
• Sergeant: “Flex Officer said he has emotional allergies to night shift, so Daddy wrote him a note and gave him a juice box.”
• You: aggressively Googling ‘how to fake your own death with minimal paperwork’
by BigDaddyBear53 July 4, 2025
Get the Flex Officermug. This Guy is the Boddest guy ever.
No CAP.
Cool person, holds it down for anybody but if u mess with him he will cut u off. Mo Flex is cute, tall most of the times
He's simply Mr. steal yo girl. So attractive, tends to cheat a lot but all the girls still crush on him.
No CAP.
Cool person, holds it down for anybody but if u mess with him he will cut u off. Mo Flex is cute, tall most of the times
He's simply Mr. steal yo girl. So attractive, tends to cheat a lot but all the girls still crush on him.
by 32453qa July 17, 2018
Get the Mo Flexmug. A: Bro why did you destroyed the dumbells ?
B: Sorry, got massives gains recently, didnt meen to accidental flex.
B: Sorry, got massives gains recently, didnt meen to accidental flex.
by Bill_Claymore March 8, 2023
Get the Accidental Flexmug. T-flex is the time standard when making or designing T-shirts that have musical bars or standards. When writing in T-flex time, you are not required to enter a time signature. This is because the user may read or sing at their own pace.
by XtrUde64 September 21, 2023
Get the T-flexmug.