by 32768 February 18, 2012
A corporation humanizing itself, usually through social media such as Twitter, to make you think that the corporation is your friend, or at least a person, as opposed to a business built for profit.
all of these brand twitter accounts that have been posting random shit are just examples of how normalized corporate humanization has become in today's world.
by jai_ June 01, 2023
An activity which is funny enough that the punishment for the activity is worth the comedic value. Typically a military term.
by TheLocalBiGuy July 11, 2024
by Salem Haven December 09, 2024
A colloquial term used in corporate settings to describe an individual who takes excessive pleasure in establishing and enforcing overly strict rules for the office. For instance, requiring prior approval to participate in company-sanctioned recreation (e.g., ping pong). Related to: corporate cunt.
Corporate Kermit, during a conference call: Excuse me, Salt Lake office? Please put yourself on mute, I can't hear myself talk over your collective breathing. Thanks.
by JonJacobJingleHeimerSchmidt July 23, 2019
Corporate Tortograph Theory states that in the world of late-stage capitalism, the human impulse for creativity has been channeled so exclusively towards marketing that almost any absurd collection of words, names, or syllables is likely to coenside with a real-world entity, person, or organization of some sort, often in the corporate sphere.
“Jesse, I typed “Gortco” into Google and came up with a page for a random Norwegian company… just another proof for Corporate Tortograph Theory.”
by Galaxy94 June 30, 2023
Modern day slavery in the workforce is corporate slavery is the mistreatment of employees by paying low wages and no health care. Typically you have a toxic manager that focuses on what you do wrong, which is minimal, but focusing on what you do well and does realize that you have a life outside of work. Often there is a point system for attendance, for instance getting one point for calling sick. You can only earn a certain of points if you call off for work, but you could be a single mother with sick children. Corporate Slavery has risen dramatically due to the decline of unions and "The Right to Work"
Me: Kathy just called in sick for today because when she woke up, her fiancee next to her in bed had died in bed.
Krystal: Can you believe Sheri's response to Kathy was that since it was unplanned absence she would earn a point. Then the boss told her she wouldn't paid for her bereavement time, because he was just a fiancee - not yet a husband.
Me: So wait - are telling me that Kathy won't received the paid bereavement because he was "just" a fiancee. I can't believe Sheri would even mention points. Like Kathy gives a shit right now.
Krystal: This is corporate slavery. Remember when the computers were non-functional and we had to show up to this damn cube farm all three days and just at a non-working computer.
Me: That was horribly boring! Right right this is just a form of modern day slavery. I hate it here, when do I get to time off during the day to be able to interview. It is almost impossible to get your time off approved.
Krystal: Can you believe Sheri's response to Kathy was that since it was unplanned absence she would earn a point. Then the boss told her she wouldn't paid for her bereavement time, because he was just a fiancee - not yet a husband.
Me: So wait - are telling me that Kathy won't received the paid bereavement because he was "just" a fiancee. I can't believe Sheri would even mention points. Like Kathy gives a shit right now.
Krystal: This is corporate slavery. Remember when the computers were non-functional and we had to show up to this damn cube farm all three days and just at a non-working computer.
Me: That was horribly boring! Right right this is just a form of modern day slavery. I hate it here, when do I get to time off during the day to be able to interview. It is almost impossible to get your time off approved.
by Siouxsie Supertramp October 12, 2020