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Christmas Rules

The Christmas Rules sound like they would be a seasonal thing, but no, don't be fooled. The Christmas Rules are to be followed throughout the entire year if one would like to reach peak wisdom and enlightenment. Follow the Christmas Rules, and you will live a fulfilling life full of divine knowledge. The rules are as follows (and none can be taken lightly):

1. Celebrate.

2. Don't send soapy tiddy pics.

3. Don't be a simp. (fictional characters and celebrities such as Alex Turner are an exception)

4. FOLLOW THE GAMING FUNGUS. (the most important rule, if you follow the others rules and not this one, it doesn't count)

5. Become sped. (another form of saying speed, basically do everything as speedily as possible)
Person 1: "5 is my lucky number, that's why it's in my username."
Person 2: "Why 5?"

Person 1: "Well, I've followed all five of the Christmas rules for five years now and as a reward, and no, this is not a coincidence, I've found five dollars underneath my pillow every single morning. It just goes to show how following the Christmas Rules does nothing but make your life more divine. Join me, my bruddha, in my journey of following the Christmas Rules.
by fungusfollower69 June 21, 2021
mugGet the Christmas Rulesmug.

Express christmas

when you can't have Christmas for the rest of the year so you have it beforehand so that you can still have Christmas
You: oh no we're going on holiday on the 20th we won't have Christmas this year

Me: we can have an express Christmas were you have Christmas early

You that's a great idea you get the tree and the ornaments and ill get the presents
by Notsotechy July 25, 2020
mugGet the Express christmasmug.

Jiminy Christmas

Jiminy Christmas that mouth never shuts up.

What about your mouth and what you are doing to my house ?
It fell on the fuckin floor. Jiminy Christmas!
by Maddogg radio April 29, 2022
mugGet the Jiminy Christmasmug.

Christmas crunk

The state of being very crunk, on or near Christmas.
She was so Christmas crunk coming home from the ugly sweater party that she crashed her car.
by Tweeples May 25, 2012
mugGet the Christmas crunkmug.

Christmas Bumb

Any person and or pan handler asking for a handout like a bumb, but has to be wearing at least one type of holiday decoration like a santa hat.
The people who wear santa suits and collect change outside grocery stores are christmas bumbs.
by LMFAO420 December 15, 2010
mugGet the Christmas Bumbmug.

christmas tight

The period of time after Christmas and New Years where the clothes you wore prior to the holidays that fit well, all of a sudden are a little tighter than they should be.
"I got this new dress shirt for Christmas. I went to wear it with my favorite work pants, but they are a little Christmas tight now."
by JammyLegs January 12, 2008
mugGet the christmas tightmug.

christmas tree

Verb. A practical joke which consists of pressing all the elevator buttons as you get off said elevator. This prank works best when the elevator car is loaded with people, and also if the building you're in has at least 8 floors.
me: I just pissed off Scott.
Nathan: how?
me: I Christmas Tree'd him a minute ago.
Nathan: haha nice.
by Dragomir Andreyevich September 24, 2007
mugGet the christmas treemug.

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