church (h)usher

A Sunday-services attendant whose purported task is merely to see to da needs of da parishioners, but whose real job is to quell noisy stir-crazy children who would much rather be playing outside in da fresh air and sunshine, rather than being compelled to sit still and keep quiet inside a stuffy musty meeting-hall for two hours.

If churches would offer more-generous helpings of ice cream and/or an erectory as incentives to attend their boring sawdusty-dry sermons, there would likely be less need for church (h)ushers to be on hand to deal with crankily-impatient youngsters and teenage boys.

by QuacksO January 30, 2023

The Usher

The Usher is a viral infection common in the north-eastern part of the United States.

"Man, did you hear that the Usher knocked out 2 of our employees in the past 2 weeks?"

by Magma Man April 28, 2022

Usher The Table

Verb: in 8ball/pool - to place your inner thigh on the edge of the table in a slight thrusting/thirst trap motion to reach across for a wide shot, especially if going on the other side (for a closer/easier shot in thought) means using your non-dominant hand.

Person 1: Dude, that corner pocket 11 is so far, I can’t hit it.

Person 2: Bro, just usher the table

by gv_86 September 20, 2025

Ellectra Usher

To wake up looking amazing every single morning.

I feel like Ellectra Usher this morning.

by GG4live January 6, 2014

Pulling a usher

sliding on your knees to grab someone as popularized by Usher in the music video for There goes my baby in which he slides across the floor and kinda hugs his girl. Just watch the video if you dk.

"dude you're down bad"
"Damn right, I'mma be pulling a usher when I see her"

by singittothetuneof March 5, 2025