wank paradox

Wanking whilst thinking about someone that's wanking whilst thinking about you wanking whilst...

Dude, I got stuck in a wank paradox with your dad last night

by Wirey Streak of Piss March 9, 2011

Wank Blackout

The act of masturbating in semi-erect mode and never reaching climax because one cannot decide upon a particular wank model. Also occurs if a series of past sexual images is constantly infiltrated by erotic memories best forgotten (i.e. gay experiments, big fat old birds, your best mate's ugly mum, etc.). May be linked to anxiety.

I was really in the mood for a wank the other night but when I got to the outdoor privvy I had a wank blackout.

by Fred Scurvy December 15, 2010

revision wank

When you get so bored of revision the only thing left to do is to have a wank.

A form of procrastination.

A: God revision is so boring

B: Have a revision wank

A: Great idea dude

by michelleandjoe December 11, 2011

Granny Wank

giving a girl a lick out when she has large fanny flaps

"Dude, i totally gave this girl a granny wank, the flaps were touching my ears."

by Plube09 January 1, 2009

Chokey Wank

The act which results in a celebrity death as a result of a failed attempt at autoerotic asphyxia.

You know that Bill from Kill Bill died of a Chokey wank?

by Finnbarr March 7, 2010

Service Wank

Having a wank just to 'clear the pipes' so to speak. Absolutely nothing to do with any sexual thoughts.

I was bored last night so had a service wank, it's been a few days and I didn't want to get clogged up

by laurafrobisher January 22, 2015

Wank Holiday

A wank holiday is when, on a bank holiday (such as May Day), you stay at home all day and masturbate, preferably without leaving the house all day.

"What did you get up to on friday?"

"Ahh it was a wank holiday so i stayed at home and knocked 7 out"

by Muffin_UK April 3, 2009