Walmart-Guru

A self proclaimed thought leader that has gathered most of their “wisdom” from youtube videos, social media and a few articles (if your lucky).

Debby: “Rachael is going to host a cleansing cacao ceremony on IG-Live for her community. It’s totally going to raise our frequency, cleanse our chakras and protect us from mass media brainwash.”

Jack to Debby: “ Are you seriously believing that Walmart-Guru ?! “

by StellaFellaTayla August 27, 2021

Basil's Walmart

When a keyboard warrior condescendingly suggests that participating in democracy is lazy or näive, and that the real way to enact meaningful change in the world is to commit some act of righteous political violence, and then goes on to do no such terroristic act, opting instead to continue to participate in more internet flame wars. Used by edgy teens and armchair anarchists to prove how cool and woke they are.

Pioneered by Twitter user @LinkofSunshine (Display name "Basil")

Natalie keeps saying that "Voting for any candidate is submitting to a broken system" and "What we need is revolution!", but she's just window shopping at Basil's Walmart.

by WarWeasel August 29, 2024

High Intensity Walmart

High-Intensity Walmart is the state of being over the top, excessive, or out of pocket. The behavior is commonly seen among screaming children and undeveloped adults seen in the retailer outside of the lowkey sensory-friendly hours from 8 a.m. to 10 a.m. Other examples include aggressively pushing one's cart down the aisle or overreacting to minor inconveniences. Also known as 'actin a fool'

A: I think someone fed Jackson some food coloring cuz he's acting really jittery

B: Clearly he is being High Intensity Walmart

by __naux__ October 22, 2024

Low Intensity Walmart

The time between 8am-10am (aka Sensory-Friendly Hours) when shopping at Walmart is a pleasant experience because the TVs and store radio are off. The customers are less noisy and you're less likely to have to dodge carts and mouthbreathers.

Woahh...Looks like we woke up early. Want to go to Low Intensity Walmart?

Yeah, it is the only time I will go now

by __naux__ November 19, 2024

Walmart Moses Catcall

Catcall whistling down a Walmart aisle clearing the crowd

Did you see Him walking in Walmart all Walmart Moses Catcalling

by Cools Man December 1, 2024

Walmart Shitter

Person who defecates in a Walmart, specifically on the floor of the store, and not in the bathroom.

Hey Kim, someone pooped on the floor. Must be another walmart shitter.

by anonymous December 13, 2024

Walmart Version

adjective;

1 A derogatory term that is used to disparage a consumer product that is obviously a cheap, poorly made rip-off of a more desired, expensive brand.
2. Any musical group or that attempts to sound like a popular band, but fails.

1. "My brother was bragging about getting a pair of Air Jordans, but they turned out to just be the Walmart Versions..."
2. "I checked out a Greta Van Fleet show, but they turned out to be a Walmart Version of the Rolling Stones.

by Simon Trinculo January 3, 2025