This guy was totally flex-texting me! Talking about business he owns(works for uncle), car he owns(belongs to baby momma) etc
by therealtriciaj July 28, 2015
Get the flex-textingmug. flex tape is basically the only thing able to keep your ass from tearing during those hot, sweaty nights that you decided that getting butt fucked by Thanos was a good idea. And don’t get me wrong, Thanos will make passionate love to you and will do it well, but not even his gauntlet can stop you from almost getting split into to by his massive purple cock. Only flex tape can.
person 1: my marriage is falling apart. my kids have aids. i’m being evicted in 34 minutes. please god, I can’t do this alone. help. me.
god: sorry bro, i’ve got my hands tied. looks like you’re just—
*an explosion destroys the side of the church. a figure walks through the smoke. it’s phil swift*
phil swift: Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super-strong waterproof tape! That can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair! Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Flex Tape grips on tight and bonds instantly! Plus, Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive is so strong, it even works underwater! Now you can repair leaks in pools and spas in water without draining them! Flex Tape is perfect for marine, campers and RVs! Flex Tape is super strong, and once it's on, it holds on tight! And for emergency auto repair, Flex Tape keeps its grip, even in the toughest conditions! Big storms can cause big damage, but Flex Tape comes super wide, so you can easily patch large holes. To show the power of Flex Tape, I sawed this boat in half! And repaired it with only Flex Tape! Not only does Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong water tight seal, so the inside is completly dry! Yee-doggy! Just cut, peel, stick and seal! Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!
god: sorry bro, i’ve got my hands tied. looks like you’re just—
*an explosion destroys the side of the church. a figure walks through the smoke. it’s phil swift*
phil swift: Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super-strong waterproof tape! That can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair! Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Flex Tape grips on tight and bonds instantly! Plus, Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive is so strong, it even works underwater! Now you can repair leaks in pools and spas in water without draining them! Flex Tape is perfect for marine, campers and RVs! Flex Tape is super strong, and once it's on, it holds on tight! And for emergency auto repair, Flex Tape keeps its grip, even in the toughest conditions! Big storms can cause big damage, but Flex Tape comes super wide, so you can easily patch large holes. To show the power of Flex Tape, I sawed this boat in half! And repaired it with only Flex Tape! Not only does Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong water tight seal, so the inside is completly dry! Yee-doggy! Just cut, peel, stick and seal! Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!
by depressed as actual f u c k February 22, 2019
Get the Flex Tapemug. While often used derogatorily against others as an accusation of hyper masculine overcompensation, when used in the first person it indicates a willingness to forcibly overcome an overwhelming challenge or highly favored opponent through the use of ones ego.
Mike always trying to flex nuts around school but nobody scared.
Don't matter how many friends you bring, your whole little Gaggle of followers can eat shit. I flex nuts son. Come at me.
Don't matter how many friends you bring, your whole little Gaggle of followers can eat shit. I flex nuts son. Come at me.
by Joshamaphone July 29, 2023
Get the Flex nutsmug. When, usually a man, takes a picture of himself with his muscles flexed but is trying to look like he's standing casually.
by Universe42 December 15, 2020
Get the casu-flexingmug. Military: when someone in your division is frustrated that you haven't been doing anything for the last couple of hours and wants to go home so your first class makes everyone stick around for hours doing something menial and totally unrelated
*Ship's power goes out*
E-3: LPO why are we even here? We're doing nothing, for a different division that doesn't need or want us, on a system that's not even ours, we've completed all our work for the day, and I just want to go home. Its 1500!!!
LPO: uhhhhhhh FIRST CLASS FLEX! Everyone stay behind for another two and a half hours to pick up trash on the pier!
E-3: LPO why are we even here? We're doing nothing, for a different division that doesn't need or want us, on a system that's not even ours, we've completed all our work for the day, and I just want to go home. Its 1500!!!
LPO: uhhhhhhh FIRST CLASS FLEX! Everyone stay behind for another two and a half hours to pick up trash on the pier!
by Slash1492 April 20, 2019
Get the first class flexmug. John; I just snitched on them for selling to them guys over there
Lil Dopefiend: Bruh c'mon you always state flexing
Lil Dopefiend: Bruh c'mon you always state flexing
by Lil Dopefiend February 24, 2020
Get the state flexingmug. by mollymae26 July 23, 2019
Get the Flexmug.