goodie closet

noun
A closet for snacks. First discovered in OneTopic's "The straights are NOT OK"

"Did you steal the cheetos out of my goodie closet again?"
"I'm sorry, but it's my cheat day and I'm really hungry."

by Cookie_on_Joy August 13, 2020

closet jerk

someone who is only pretending to be nice to you but secretly doesn't like you. May ignore you, never include you and diss you in private with their closet jerk friends.

"He just politely shut me down with that irritating politician smile. What a closet jerk."

by Caaulolo September 16, 2020

closet jerk

Polite and subtle rejection. Someone who is only pretending to be nice to you but secretly doesn't like you. May ignore you, never include you and diss you in private with their closet jerk friends.

"He just politely shut me down with that irritating politician smile. What a closet jerk."

by Caaulolo September 16, 2020

closet lobster

An individual who avoids public appearances or hanging out with friends because of an embarrassing sunburn or sunburn lines.

"Hey, have any of you seen Brittany since two days ago at the beach?"
"No, I think she is being a real closet lobster because I know she didn't use sunscreen."

by ThugZone August 16, 2013

johnny closet

johnny closet(n)- a slang/ street term originating in the early 1900's meaning restroom or bathroom.

as referenced in "My Name is America: The Journal of Finn Reardon; A Newsie" pg. 5 paragraph 2;

" There are rules against us using the johnny closet".

Now I could be wrong but that's what I gather without too many context clues but hey! it makes sense to me! so here it is raw and real you little poop sharks! I'm going to go smoke some Alaskan Sniperfuck and get the fuck outta this popsicle stand, peace!

I went around the corner and realized I had to pee so I turned ran to the johnny closet!

Jorge went to the johnny closet to leak the lizard.

by sir piss pumper September 25, 2013

closet deposit

The closet deposit is a womens "spank bank"

Look at that hunk.

Wow wow wee whaaa! he's going in my closet deposit for later

spank bank flick the bean

by Qbaybay October 11, 2013

closet crunch

When your girlfriend is knee deep in housework and you ambush her while she's putting clothes away, get her all folded up in the corner of the closet like a cheap lawn chair & bang the daylights out of her. After, you pull one of her shirts off the hanger to wipe up with.

Stacie was super busy putting clothes away, when Eric totally snuck up on her & gave her a heavy dose of the ol' closet crunch.

by ms super funnier than eric November 15, 2011