hammer wank

when there's not full access to a penis and so a full grip of the hand cannot be obtained such as in the cinema when your dicks inevitably through the bottom of the popcorn box, so the index and middle finger become like the claw of a hammer and the penis being like the nail that's being pulled giving a better grip

Was sittin in mass and Jess gave me such a hammer wank

by Mattc96 February 25, 2015

Phantom Wank

When a male sits on his hand until numb then has a wank so it feels like someone else is doing it.

I felt particularly lonely so i had a phantom wank, to pretend i have a friend.

by Cleggfu September 15, 2013

Crippled wank

Someone who wanks off without arms and legs

Katy Jones is a crippled wank

by Niscaraeperuscar May 13, 2019

Insurance Wank

Masturbating prior to having penetrative sex in the hope that this will prevent the male from experiencing premature ejaculation.

Howay, man. I hope you're not gonna shoot your load too quickly.
Dinnae worry, pet. I had an insurance wank in the toilet at Pizza Hut just before we left. Now get a load of this...

by Ken Dodd's Dad's Dog's Dead January 10, 2011

kamikaze wank

When you hijack a plane and fly it to the ground, then masturbate in the ZERO-G.

Bob: My friend Tom had a kamikaze wank last night.
Greg: Wow, and did the cum float?
Bob: Yes.

by Lovebugeater March 10, 2014

wall of wanks

Top most wanked to people featured on thankyourwank.com The Wall of Wanks includes man, woman and celebrities that the users of the website +1 everytime they wank thinking about them.

Everyone wanks so hard at Hayley Williams that no wonder she is always featured on the wall of wanks of thankyourwank.com

by WankMistress July 11, 2011

Wank Shame

The feeling which comes as a result of mastebating in a way that, at the time seemed like an awesome idea.

After quietly rubbing one out in his mothers room as she slept, Dave was overcome with Crippling wank shame.

by C-Toppa April 20, 2014