Onion-take

Where a reader absentmindedly scrolls through their social media or news feed and encounters an article too strange or too sad to be real. The reader then reflexively reverses scroll direction to verify if the article is a piece of satire or authentic news.

Named for a portmanteau of Onion, a satirical news outlet, and the double take.

Alex was prompted to Onion-take while scrolling Facebook, and found themselves horrified to learn that the article about competitive-eater Kobayashi being beaten by Chris Christie was posted by BBC News and not The Onion.

by RealFakeNews April 15, 2020

Take a lettuce

To give up and kill oneself; to intentionally consume lettuce contaminated with E. coli.

Originated when the FDA recalled lettuce in the U.S.

I'm so sick of school. Imma take a lettuce and end it all right now.

by integrandpiano December 24, 2018

take it outside

When there'a about to be a fight inside, you can take it to a more vioent level by moving it to an outside place.

-Shut up
-You shut up
-Luke, Alex why don't you take it outside?

by lorrrra September 28, 2018

Taking a Logan

The act of taking a giant shit. (ie.) the giant shit Logan Paul took all over his career.

I was taking a Logan and ran out of toilet paper.

by Rotten3 July 5, 2020

Taking a Tony

When you just return from a break at work and immediately have to step off to take a dump.

He'll be back, he is taking a Tony.

by Tooonny January 20, 2019

Taking an Abby

Taking an unusually large and time consuming dump.

Friend 1: “man, after eating that Taco Bell I couldn’t help myself. I had to just drop everything and found myself taking an abby.”
Friend 2: “ahh, so that’s where you’ve been the last 35 minutes. Hope the toilets not clogged”

by Aprilfoolsking May 17, 2018

Take a half

To leave work early. Usually unexpected

I am sick of this shit.Imma Take a half up in this bitch

by Nibiru33 March 10, 2010