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never preached

Debra: It's a long walk around Biltmore Estates. I'm glad I wore my sneakers.
Candace: You ain't never preached before in your life.

Josh: It's a blessing that Hillary wasn't elected.
Caleb: Son, you ain't never preached before in your life.
by myspecialmagic November 12, 2016
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Keyboard Preacher

Often found in the comments section of forums and especially YouTube. A Keyboard Preacher is an individual who espouses religious and god related material. The preaching is more often than not completely unrelated to the conversation at hand.

Keyboard Preachers often talk about nothing other than god and religion and feel compelled to share their religion with others regardless of whether their audience cares or not. Keyboard Preachers will often cite scriptures and verses from the bible.
Example of Keyboard Preacher

Comment: "Joe Biden is completely inept at his job"

Keyboard Preacher: "everyone will kneel before Jesus Christ and all tongues will confess to come unto the lord"

Commenter: Nobody cares. Quit being a Keyboard preacher
by Momo Kawashima July 22, 2021
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Peak Album Preacher

When someone listens to the most popular album by a band, so he/she thinks they are a fan and tell everyone that the band is the greatest.
Adam: OMG just listened to Nevermind by Nirvana. They are the best band everrr I'm gonna call everyone and tell them to download this.

Me: Dont listen to Adam, he's just a peak album preacher, he's never heard any of Nirvanas old stuff.
by Rvince May 31, 2009
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premature emailation

Mistakenly sending an email. Can be caused by forgetting an attachment, glaring grammatical errors, poor judgment, or overheated emotions.

"Save as draft" is the cure for PED (premature emailation disorder).
He responded to his coworker's criticism with a reply-all flame. The premature emailation cost him his job.

Without thinking it through, he sent his crush a mash note. After his premature emailation, she thinks he's psycho.
by Slumdog Superstar January 1, 2009
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Premapunch

A punch that you feel all day.
Jack complained about the premapunch on his arm.
by Premapunch November 9, 2009
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Premature Evacuation

the feeling that results from leaving the toilet too fast when finished with crap
Premature evacuation
Dude: Shit man dont touch my butt. I just prematurely evacuated
Second Dude: Sorry man...i didnt know
by Kevinnnb April 6, 2008
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Premature Kojaculation

Early onset of baldness. Named for the Seventies TV character "Kojac" played by bald actor, Telly Savalas, who shaved his head long before it became popular.
"Are you losing your hair?"

"Yeah, Premature Kojaculation runs in my family. Either that or I'm growing a lot more forehead."
by Don Howard September 2, 2007
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