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couch safety

Noun: A place of safety or refuge from social outcast, embarrassment, and ridicule constructed via cushion, fabric, and puffs; an inlet of refuge from post-intoxication induced stupidity and promiscuity; the vessel in which one watches horror films, psychological thrillers, or consumes the Domino's pizza (occasionally by the grace of sirmarmasir, all 3 at a time).
"Yo gypsy, you think you're in couch safety right now? You're not - get back to the frialator and don't be stealing no McNuggets!"

"Judy enveloped herself in the swaft of couch safety and began her on-demand rental of 'The Ruins'...'Ah' she thought to herself, 'what a perfect Sunday afternoon'."
by SirMarmASir October 10, 2012
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Couch Whoring

Similar to scoping out attractive individuals at the mall, campus, etc., but done from one's couch by swooning over celebrity men or women on TV or in the movies.
"I was couch whoring it up today watching a ton of Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg movies."
by philozopher99 January 22, 2012
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Couch Pumpkin

when a fat butted bitch hogs the couch for an extended length of time
"that couch pumpkin is still playing that stupid fucking game."

"what a cunt."
by dragunWarrior February 20, 2012
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couch rapping

When you're faded on the couch listening to good music and feeling the groove. Enduced as forthward motion of hands in sync with the rhythym.
Al was couch rapping all night when we put on Shad!
by GtownuelPh January 8, 2012
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Couch Looting

(v) The act of searching underneath the cushions of one's couch to find spare change.
Dave was low on cash, so he decided to go couch looting.
by spencetopia June 22, 2011
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Couch promoter

Someone who’s never worked on an event in their life but sits on the keyboard, “couch” or at dinners and gives unsolicited advice. They can be recognized because sentences usually start with the statement : YOU SHOULD
Jaden: You know what “you should” do to make your event better
Promoter: yeh
Jaden: Thriller at the zombie walk

Promoter: you should start working on your choreography for next year. Stop being a couch promoter.

Carol: You know what “you should” do to make your event better
Promoter: yeh
Carol: I don’t like the music you picked. You should have house music inventor David Guetta and our local DJs make it danceable.

Promoter: we put out a call to musicians Carol if they wanted to they could have played or you could have suggested it too!
Carol: I don’t want to be a part of all that, I just want to have fun.

Promoter: thanks for being a couch promoter carol.
by Feralart October 31, 2018
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Polish Couch

It’s when you & your BFF kneel on any given couch, buck nekkit, facing aft towards the same direction; with each participant having their head laying down & rear up, while having a third miscellaneous person tongue each bung, taking turns in between sets.
Let me get this straight! A polish couch is when you & your buddy are face down- ass up, but you only get one dedicated tongue?” - Dale M. Pace
by Fluffy McGillicuddy December 28, 2018
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