towel law

The unspoken rule that towels' rights are less than any other person's, excluding towels themselves. Towels are not allowed to:
1. Read
2. Write
3. Vote
4. Drive
5. Leave their designated area
6. Dry anything their masters say not to
7. Disobey a master's orders
8. Smoke, drink, or have other substance-related activity
Towels are subhuman filth.

Thanks to Towel Law, the towel was punished sternly by the whip for attempting to write a book about how to drive, against Amy Schumer's vagina's wishes. It was quickly rolled into a makeshift dildo-tampon and shoved back in. Amy Schumer stopped menstruating a long time ago, so don't worry. It's just super sweaty and gross.

by Niger Tits October 9, 2017

Towel-Shank

The act of wrapping up a towel then smaking someone with it.

Don't make me towel-shank you

by Tavi/PinkPowderCandy April 1, 2024

Piss towel

when you piss but are all out of toilet paper so you shamefully grab the nearest towel

Cleetus got roaches because he wouldn't stop using the piss towel without washing it.

by bleachcupcakezz October 9, 2025

Towel run

When you nut in a girls butt but it starts to slide down and you run to find a towel and wipe it off before she gets pregnant

1 "dude i almost had a kid last night"
2 " what happened?"
1" I had to do a towel run"

by Blipparoni May 20, 2018

Towel Head

A person from the middle east using a form of hijab is often called a Towel Head

HAhaha that towel head almost blew me up but kempf agent choked the towel head out.

by AlphaKempfarn June 8, 2019

No-No Towel

A towel used to absorb bodily fluids during sex.

Bonus points if there’s blood AND cum on it.

“Ah fuck, my roommate found the no-no towel.” - John
“Don’t worry man Derek is chill. He probably just threw it in the wash” - Jake

by Rocky 4 Lyfe September 7, 2020

buying towels at ross

a code word only cool people can use for saying they are taking a shit

Valerie - I’m currently buying towels at ross
Carolina - same ;)

by señor spermies September 22, 2017