The procedure most levels of management endure at an off site meetings. In atition, they learn to loudly yet privately critizise a coworker, and excell at accepting alll the kudo's for others work, that made them look good.
Strangely these empty paychecks are also immune to productivity dowsizing.
Hey did you see Macco turn and dress down Rob at that the quarterly meeting? Yes, so did the whol esection, but Macco got one hell of an attaboy from the CIO.
Funny yhink is that Macco's name was in like 24pt font in the program. Wht's up wit that.

Damn Tony Soprano should havd had been so luckyo hsv had a teflon management class!
by krewer May 24, 2009
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someone who holds the keys to the company doors
guy: who is that woman?
other guy: she is the key account manager
by qubic December 17, 2018
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E.G.M also know as Early Grave Management was Founded By ( kE & bZ ) YOU PLAY YOU LAY it’s that simple I mean it’s right in the name earl-lee gray-ve man-a-ge-ment

- their names are spelled backwards for the slow ones
Aye boy you heard bout E.G.M ya ass bet not get caught lacking on soul on my kids yo grave gon get managed early - some wise old man

Early Grave Management/ E.G.M
by Some Wise Old Man June 15, 2022
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That fucking dumbass thinks he could be our Production Manager, what an idiot.
by Ungawa August 25, 2009
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This theory covers the principle that you have some people who are incompetent but get promoted anyway due to arrogance, self-belief and ignorance of their own capabilities and limitations. Their self-belief comes across as confidence and skill during short interview exposure where real skills are not challenged or tested thoroughly. Ultimately they become a manager. They try to exert control over all future situations, despite a lack of informed knowledge.

These employees float up to the top of an organisation, repeating the same process. and this is why there is a layer of shit often floating at the top, underneath which capable employees become exhausted and disgruntled.

This in essence is the Polystyrene Brown Management Theory.

It gains its name from some simple principles. If placed in water, Polestyrene will float to the top, pushing everything out of its way to get there, where it refuses to sink, is bad for the environment and is generally just shit. Inhibiting the necessary light needed for employee growth underneath where they are left in a less oxygen-rich environment, unable to get the necessary straws to aid breathing, due to the budget cuts imposed by said Polystyrene Brown Management.

The environment that the employee is left to work in starts to turn brown, and everywhere they look they feel they are surrounded by shit.
Polysterene Brown Management Theory

"I have been working in this company for 23 years, and we don't need to change or adapt to any of these dumbfounding IT security principles or ideas you have, if you don't like it then leave!!!!" - said David.

"Well David, that's some "Polysternene Brown Management Theory" bullshit right there you useless bag of limp dicks" - replied Kevin.
by irishwolfdogg June 25, 2021
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I don’t know where to start but how about here you so sexy in every way. The way you controlling everything moving is SOo0oO hot. I loved watching you work. You show them how it’s done. We work hard we play hard.

I know we may not communicate well via text but please! Understand I went through dark aileys of depression and I’m just emerging from its shadows. Me being selfless says that’s still no excuse. Sorry to keep you waiting in suspense. I have my reasons. I was withholding my urges because I was under surveillance by 5-oh. (Ef all them hating ass b*tches Seriously F them. They ruined it for us. Bunch of crabs in a barrel. Internalized racism and misogynists. Tried to get rid of me. They don’t know nothing about love. Real love. Them petty b*tches always with the drama. Don’t know how to speak up or boss up. Only causing hostility and a disservice. Nobody defended me. They all turned against me. Between those m-rats & golden retrievers Idk what’s worse a bitch or a snitch. It’s Boss & HBIC here to run tings. They thought they’d take the cake and eat it too huh? tuh. They were all rat-at-ta-tas & lazy bones. The hustle has always been sold separately. I’m sorry to say this but thank god for the pandemic it cancelled a lot of them.) I’LL LOVE YOU UNTIL THE END OF TIME
Niecka: wherever you are there I am
Boss: I LOVE YOU

Niecka: I LOVE YOU MORE. TO THE MOON AND BACK!!! FOREVER AND ALWAYS WILL BE MY ONE AND ONLY. My confidant. My security blanket. My other half.

Boss: I want you to have my last name. Will you marry me? I wanna manager you
Niecka: Yes (papi)*cry’s painfully and hysterically*

Niecka: I can’t do this without you.
by Comeback2meLoVeMeNoW April 21, 2021
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