John

John is so weird. He looks like a pear. He needs a haircut. He has no hairline. A John would never be kind, even if his life depended on it.

I hate John. He makes me rage!

by MyTerror December 10, 2019

john quantavious dingleberry the eighth castle jr

A very beautiful Asian man. He's known to be the chillest man on Earth, he's also very sexy.

Rachel: "OMG! WHO'S THAT?!"
Samantha: "YOU DON'T KNOW? THAT'S JOHN QUANTAVIOUS DINGLEBERRY THE EIGHTH CASTLE JR."
Rachel: "WHY'S HIS NAME SO LONG?"
Samantha: "IT'S UNIQUE!"
Kills Rachel

by Stuffedhobo July 10, 2023

John Shea Method

Do whatever you want, but it must work

I used the John Shea Method to pass my test.

by The Beast (The Real One) October 20, 2021

Pulling a John

Drinking five tall rum and cokes and beating a member of your immediate family.

"I heard R-Kelly pulled a John last week" "If you try to make me go back to rehab imma pull a John on all ya'll motherfuckers" "on god im Pulling a John this weekend"

by CouchCreamerVance October 6, 2025

John

Nonsensical euphemism for any noun (usually a penis,) often used jokingly or to self-censor in public.

1: "DUUUUDE! I hit my fucking John!"
2: "What?"
1: "MY JOHN! IT HIT ME RIGHT IN THE JOHN!"
2: "Travis, what the hell are you talking about?"

by Torrajin October 23, 2022

Brooklyn John

When someone sits on your face and drools.

She seemed boring at first but it didn’t take me long to talk her into giving me a Brooklyn John.

by El Capitán Nico August 21, 2022

John

michael's semen drinking lover

hot sexy ass tal clone 1: oh yes John is shit

by Tal the sexy June 23, 2020