Schrödinger's Job

An employer announces that there will be layoffs, and staff will learn who is affected at some undefined point in the future, leaving them simultaneously employed and unemployed indefinitely.

"Budget cuts announced. I have Schrödinger's Job until my employer reports who is getting laid off."

by Eloteloca July 2, 2023

Schrödinger's cock

Like Schrödinger's cat, Schrödinger's cock is both big & small until it is seen.
Schrödinger's cock refers to a hidden cock being both the biggest penis and not the biggest penis in the room.
Once a cock has been seen by people in your orbit, it is no longer a Schrödinger's cock.

Jimmy never showers at the gym, he's protecting his precious Schrödinger's cock.

Bob always acted such the Alpha Male, but since he lost his Schrödinger's cock we all know 'he aint all that'.
Ever since Glenn lost his Schrödinger's cock, the size queens won't leave him alone. Turns out he's hung like an elephant.

by mr dash July 2, 2023

Schrödinger's marriage

A same-sex marriage where one of the people involved is transgender. Conservatives will simultaneously claim the marriage isn't legitimate because they oppose gay marriage while also claiming the trans person to be their agab, in which case they should see the marriage as being straight and should not have an issue with it. They will still get angry about it regardless because their opinions don't make sense.

Person A: So your homophobic and transphobic aunt is mad at you for marrying a girl even though she believes you are still a man?

Person B: Yeah, I've got a Schrödinger's marriage situation going on.

by Mr.Hangover July 5, 2023

Schrodinger's Dog

When you exist, but no one ever speaks about you, they barely know you exist.

I have been feeling like Schrodinger's Dog lately. Nobody knows I exist.

by dragsbruh July 12, 2023

Schrödinger's black belt

A person (who in most cases isn't a martial artist) who makes condescending comments about a martial art but doesn't know enough about that martial art to know how stupid they sound.

"who needs karate when you can throw hands"
"its over when I see red"
"martial arts cant beat a gun"
"anime bullsh*t"
"that's not a martial art, that's jus roughhousing"
reply: don't be a Schrödinger's black belt.

by mane why is every name taken July 16, 2023

Schrödinger's Gay Man

A general theory of relativity behind the sexual attraction of every man. It states that every man is in a constant state of quantum superposition between gay and straight, being 50% gay and 50% straight. As such, they will never be sure of their own sexual attraction until they kiss a man, effectively opening the box and forcing their sexuality to fall into one of the two realities, revealing whether they are gay or straight.

Bro 1:"Bro, I just kissed a dude, turns out I'm gay!"
Bro 2: "Looks like Schrödinger's Gay Man takes another."

by Onesquawkyboi August 4, 2023

Schrodinger's Jester

When someone is both serious and joking, with the deciding factor being how people react. Often times they are serious, but if people react in a way that they did expect or foresee, a Schrodinger's Jester will claim it is a joke.

Person A: "I am a pacifist until I get angry"
Person B: "That isn't how being a pacifist works"
Person A: "Yes it is!"
Person C: "It actually isn't"
Person A: "It was a joke"

In this scenario, Person A was a Schrodinger's Jester

by Mad Cheshire September 8, 2023