Likened to the dreaded Freshman 15, the 15 pounds of weight you gain in the first year of college, the COVID-19 is the 19 pounds of weight you can expect to gain from sheltering in place and stress eating during a pandemic. You gain the COVID-19 when FedEx delivers the delicious prepared meals you ordered for the week and you're so bored you eat them all by Tuesday. You gain the COVID-19 when, finally, you eat up all the damn cans of beans you hoarded in March 2019 because you've been out of work so long you can't afford any new food.
I used to be celery, but after gaining the COVID-19 I'm a 🍐.
Have you seen Karen? She looks like she's strapped two 10-pound beef briskets to her arse, she gain the COVID-19.
After six months of sweat pants, Netflix and Funyuns, Stephen tried to put on jeans but soon realized he too had gained the COVID-19 when his pants button shot off across the room like a bullet.
Have you seen Karen? She looks like she's strapped two 10-pound beef briskets to her arse, she gain the COVID-19.
After six months of sweat pants, Netflix and Funyuns, Stephen tried to put on jeans but soon realized he too had gained the COVID-19 when his pants button shot off across the room like a bullet.
by Sygh January 29, 2021
Get the COVID-19mug. The new official orwellian name for "monkeypox." The World Health Organization (WHO) changed/rename monkeypox over concerns from scientists that the name is "discriminatory and stigmatizing."
According to the WHO, men who have sex with men are the group at the highest risk of infection right now. {About 99% of cases are among men, and at least 95% of those patients are men who have sex with men.}
According to the WHO, men who have sex with men are the group at the highest risk of infection right now. {About 99% of cases are among men, and at least 95% of those patients are men who have sex with men.}
Gay Man 1: Eeeeeew, what are all those bumps and sores on your face? You need to see a doctor about that?
Gay Man 2: Naw, it's just Schlong Covid, I think I got from that orgie a few days back. It's also all over my butt and junk.
Gay Man 1: mmmh, I didn't know you like to ride it dirty? We should hang out sometime once your don't look like a walking disease factory.
......
Gay Man 2: Naw, it's just Schlong Covid, I think I got from that orgie a few days back. It's also all over my butt and junk.
Gay Man 1: mmmh, I didn't know you like to ride it dirty? We should hang out sometime once your don't look like a walking disease factory.
......
by Rastathewhite July 29, 2022
Get the Schlong Covidmug. Adj- descriptive of state of mind regarding planning where one acknowledges the fact that between now and the time of an event, circumstances can change, all hell can break loose and you might have to adjust your plans- but you are ok with that.
by Vegas-21 August 5, 2020
Get the COVID-flexiblemug. Conveniently catching COVID when you either have work or social plans that you don’t want to take part in.
by Farmer Jakr September 19, 2022
Get the Convenient COVIDmug. by Dirtywaterfan10 January 2, 2021
Get the Covid Vaginamug. by Harvey Dogg December 20, 2020
Get the covid fatmug. Female genitalia only suitable for oral pleasure when the giver of pleasure has Covid. (No sense of taste or smell)
by RCprofessors January 11, 2022
Get the Covid Coochmug.