Twilight

The world's most elaborate and cunningly crafted Mormon advertising campaign against pre-marital sex

Stephanie Meyer, author of Twilight, told me it is wrong to have sex before marriage, therefore it must be true

by pimp_my_yak1 December 17, 2009

Twilight

Biggest fucking mistake ever.
It's a book series by Stephenie Meyer.

You're a Twilight! I knew we should have used protection.

by GIRL WHO KNOWS IT ALL.. June 24, 2010

Twilight Effect

Teenagers showing up in the ER complaining of severe bite wounds to the neck. Caused by a partner trying to be romantic and fit with the new vampire fetish spawned by the plot of Twilight. If the bite is not deep enough to draw copious amounts of blood, the bactieria in the partners mouth may cause a nasty infection that requires serious hospitalization.

Dude : Did you hear about the 30,000 bite wound cases reported in ERs this year? They call it the twilight effect, stupid people trying to act like vampires.

Chick: Dont judge them, vampires are hot.

Dude: Because nothing says "I love you" like losing a quart of blood.

Chick: You suck, your nothing like Edward Cullen, im going ot read twilight 100 times to purge my mind of any trace of reality.

by T-cat July 14, 2010

twilight

a depressed girl who cannot decide weather to screw a dead man or a dog

Bella + vampire=twilight???
Bella + werewolf=twilight???

by ♡♡Kimberly♡♡ ♡♡Holland♡♡ July 15, 2010

Twilight

An overpriced piece of toilet paper.

Person- "oh, crap! I'm out of toilet paper! oh well, I'll use my sister's Twilight book."

by blondeginnyweasley March 17, 2011

Twilight Dick

Also called TD.

When you shave your pubes and put sparkley lotion on it to keep from getting ingrown pubes. this makes your dick, balls, and surrounding area sparkle and smell like flowers. This is a Twilight Dick.

Guy: Hey I put this lotion on my crotch to keep from getting ingrown hairs and it made me sparkle and smell good.

Girl: Haha Twilight Dick! Im going to call you TD from now on

Guy: Okay :(

by lolatthis1 November 29, 2011

Twilight

A multi-billion dollar producing franchise that is frequently given incredibly negative feedback regardless of it's success.

Common negative feedback; "Edward is pale, hence, ugly," (Robert Pattinson has been named Sexiest Man Alive for the past five years)

"Kristen Stewart has no emotions" (No one will ever acknowledge her beautiful smile after that label had been made)

"They totally changed the image of vampires!" (Hence, the success. Originality is key.)

"They sparkle!" (Back to the originality argument. These are not regular vampires.)

"There's no plot," (Right. Obviously not, that's why there's a James and a Volturi and a Jacob Black and a Renesmee,)

Truth be told, narrow-mindedness has shown no mercy on this franchise.

Girl 1: "Ugh! I fucking hate Twilight!"
Girl 2: "Why is that?"
Girl 1: "Because there's no plot and Edward's so ugly!"
Girl 2: "Have you read it?"
Girl 1: "Yes,"
Girl 2: "Did you hate from before you read it?"
Girl 1: "Well yeah,"
Girl 2: "Well there you fucking go you biased ignoramus,"

by Rinny34 January 15, 2013