torque monkey

An erect penis.

After the party, I took her home and let my torque monkey loose in her vagina.

by Jarhead8120 May 7, 2017

Throat Monkeys

The throw backs from your mouth from food or drink, into bottles or can drink.

I drank from my can and it had floaties in it when I had finished my mouthful. John commented when he picked it up to also drink from the can that it had bits of floaties on the drink. He said "it has Throat Monkeys ".

by Baby girl smurf June 13, 2017

jump the monkey

When a woman returns home after a long and boring day working in a restaurant with the sole aim of getting shagged silly. Her advances lack subtlety as she just grabs at the man´s genitals demanding coitus. When faced with any resistance she jumps on the unaccommodating male and rides him into oblivion.

Nicky: Hey Amanda, do you fancy a drink after work?
Amanda: Nah, I don´t think so.
Nicky: Why not? Are you off home to jump the monkey?
Amanda: Yeah, I am fucking gagging for it.
Nicky: Crikey!!

by FurbyFuck10 November 26, 2015

Monkey Arm

A well-formed turd that is long enough to wrap around.

She got to the toilet just in time to pinch off a foot-long steaming monkey arm.

by Garbage Heap August 1, 2020

Procrastination monkey

A lazy person who often procrastinates and delays their work, often eats bananas and other fruits shaped like a planetarium to stay big and strong.

Johnny: Mike is such a procrastination monkey, he has big dreams that he wants to achieve yet he's just laying there on his couch doing nothing to reach them.
David: I think he has schizophrenia! Give him the pills Johnny!

by CookieLikeABookie January 4, 2023

Temple Monkey

Noun. A racial slur relative to Porch Monkey but for people of Jewish decent.

Yo check out those Temple Monkey's picking up pennies!

by Benhar February 12, 2009

monkey tilt

Used most often used at the poker table, or in reference to a poker game.

An extreme form of tilt, often caused by a series of bad beats, excessive table banter from donkeys, or otherwise shit-ass luck in a poker game. The player experiencing monkey tilt may experience one or more of the following syptoms: 1) complete and utter disregard for money (in fact, other players may even claim that the player in question "hates money") 2) frequent bluffs and all-in moves before the flop in a no-limit hold-em game 3) calling bets with complete disregard for the cards or the odds being offered 4) jumping up and down screaming "oooh oooh aah ahh" while shoving a banana down your own throat

The dude in the 2-seat is on complete fucking monkey tilt.

by Carlos CFC October 12, 2005