Stand-up philosopher

A Bullshit Artist!!

(From the Mel Brooks movie "History of the World, part one.")

Unemployment Office Person: "Name and occupation?"

Comicus: "Comicus, Stand-up Philosopher."

Unemployment Office Person: "A what?"

Comicus: "A Stand-up Philosopher. I take the collasence of daily life and produce anectdotes that have synonymous meaning with various people."

Unemployment Office Person: "Oh. A bullshit artist!"

Comicus: "Uh...Yeah."

Unemployment Office Person: "Well, did you bullshit today? Did you try to bullshit today? Try harder or we'll have to cut-off you payments. Next please!"

by Carl J. Maltese April 12, 2007

philosopher

The most dangerous sort of person. By means of intuition, thought, symbols, and words, a philosopher may build or destroy civilizations, all behind the scenes, unknown by those who end up using her ideas as everyday beliefs. The power of the philosopher, for good or ill, often lasts well beyond the grave, over centuries and millennia.

Philosophers aim at discovering truth. As truth is perspectival and has an historical aspect, no philosopher or philosophy captures all truth absolutely in all its possible nuances and applications. Many thinkers misunderstand this fact of reality and human finitude, while other schools have grasped it.

Those that don't understand the limited nature of human beings believe their philosophy is a complete system that explains reality absolutely, usually with disastrous consequences historically; those that do understand this create philosophies that are open-ended and admit that progress in understanding is possible over time, each generation adding and amending errors as needed.

"Hegel, an absolutist 19th c. philosopher who believed he had explained all of reality, influenced Karl Marx, who, in turn, believed his philosophy explained all of reality. In turn, Ayn Rand took Marx's philosophy and turned it upside-down and, just as absolutely, believed she had completely explained all of reality. All three philosophers have had a certain detrimental effect on history - Hegel influencing Nazism, Marx Communism, and Rand an authoritarian resurrection of Laissez-Faire Capitalism and worship of selfishness."

by A Loser July 30, 2012

Philosopher's Stone

An ideal that gives hope to the lost. Some would argue that there's an actual scientific formula combining lead and gold... following an array chart, of course. Greek Mythology relates the God "Mercury" somehow in the transformation process, but there isn't much documentation to support his role in the process other than he too was searching.....and I think he had wings on his ankles. The Philosophers Stone was hands down, The best song ever recorded by Van Morrison. The Philosophers stone gives hope to those searching for a home.

"Man, that guy still searching for the Philosopher's stone....."
or "omg, i love this song, Philosopher's Stone" or, "Everytime I hear Philosopher's Stone I think of Larry" or "No need to search for the Philosophers Stone, its been in your pocket all along"

by D.A. Davenport June 28, 2012

facebook philosophers

People who update there status (mainly stones) daily with bullshit philosophies and phrases, in a bid to try and make themselves look intellectual.

For example a facebook philosophers may say Don't stay in bed unless your making money in bed etc...

by godsgift55 July 11, 2011

Facebook Philosopher

A pseudo intelligent person who finds it necessary to steal song lyrics and famous quotes to elicit a reaction from their audience or to appear to be deeply thoughtful or philosophical. These people will usually accomplish their goals by receiving feedback or "Likes" from the uninformed when they indeed haven't earned them, only egging them on to further post BS. For the large majority of the population, they just appear to be retards.

Joe: "Leticia, I really like your post today! I found it so inspiring when you said, 'All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.' That is so true."
Leticia: "Yeah, just a little something I came up with.
Chris: "Leticia! Who are you kidding?!? Will you please post something by Led Zeppelin tomorrow? I sure could use some Stairway to Heaven inspiration. Damn, Facebook Philosopher."

by Ingenious One August 31, 2013

Pocket-philosopher

Someone who tries to be deep, but just comes off as pretentious, or having no life experience.

Guy 1: "People just are horrible, human beings are pathetic creatures and everyone is garbage. Live life as you please, because you only get one."
Guy 2: "Wow, playing pocket-philosopher today are we? What other common sense covered in sugar are you going to give me next?"

by JuneEagle May 23, 2018

Facebook Philosopher

An individual whose Facebook statuses are often chiched quotes such as "when in doubt, just take the next small step", "make peace with the past so it doesn't screw up the present", or "sometimes its hard to understand, but time tells truth." These give the impression that said Facebook user is wise, when in fact they are merely putting on airs.

A: "Wow, Jeff is pretty deep!"

B: "Nah, he's just a Facebook Philosopher"

by twentyXDsix July 31, 2009