Cranking Units

What began as Edmonton-speak for ‘drinking beers’, has evolved into an entire culture.

Anything can be a unit, and usually it’s crankable, sometimes the unit even cranks itself and you need to crank it before it cranks you. Sometimes you crank the units and later on the units crank back (ie a hangover).

Unit Classification System - Crankology. 101

Type 1 Units

- Instant gratification units. Require little effort to crank, with high pleasure payoff.

- Ex: cocaine, liquor.

Type 2 Units

- Units that require some effort to crank, with potentially great rewards.

- Ex: mushrooms, ayahuasca, changa.

Type 3 Units

- Units that crank you, but in the long run allow you to crank even more units.

- Ex: psychedelic ego death, vaccines, getting lost in the forest and discovering your spirit animal after days of dehydration and delirium.

Type 4 Units

- Food units. Calories are eventually required for even the most veteran of greeblers.

- Ex: Rave pizza.

Type 5 Units

- Units that need to leave the body. Bodily function units.

- Ex: crank a piss, bro!

Type 6 Units

- Mystery Units. Units found, effects unknown until cranked.

Ex: powdery substance snorted off greebly shag rug.

Type 7 Units

- Adrenaline units. Units that activate internal adrenaline system for sake of excitement and cheap thrills!

Ex: fire spinning, sky diving, BDSM kinks.

Type 8 Units

Sexual pleasure units.

Ex: cranking your nut butter all over your babe (with consent).

*Looks at empty beer box* “bro did we crank all those unes?”

“I went to help my friend build a fence but then we just started cranking units instead”

“When I birthed my child I was in labour for 12 hours”
“Damn, that’s cranking a unit for sure”

“Love une/ love yoon”

“Don’t forget to use your manners, say please and crank une”

“What is life, but a unit cranked?”

by anonymous November 18, 2021

Cranking A Brown

When you take a shit. Usually during an upper decking.

I was really Cranking A Brown at the party. Nothing funnier than Upper Decking someones toliet during a party. I of course left the party after i shitted.

by upper deck crew July 30, 2009

Chinking

A side-effect of cannabis use that causes the muscles of one's eyelids to become relaxed and slightly closed to take on the appearance of someone from Asian - or 'chink' - descent.

A similar side-effect sometimes called 'red-eye' can also occur if a user is a new smoker or just smokes a lot. This is caused from dilation of the capillary veins within the eyes.

Shit man, don't be chinking so hard when we get to school! The teacher's will know we're stoned!

by RockNn311 June 29, 2010

Cranking

To be simultaneously engaged in the acts of crying and wanking.

If his funds were running particularly low, Junkie Jim could often be found cranking at the local sperm-bank.

by Johnny Darke December 16, 2008

Cranking

To engage in dance with companions.

My friends and I were cranking in their car the other day to some Chief Keef.

by Maztotheula April 29, 2015

Crinkling

Something humans say when they’re laughing.

AHAHAH, OH, PINK, I MEAN, ‘FRIEND’, THAT JOKE WAS SO FUNNY! I’M CRINKLING. I’M CRUMPLING UP INTO A LITTLE BALL. I’M FOLDING. YOU’RE DOING ORIGAMI WITH ME. I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW FUNNY THAT WAS. I’M COLLAPSING.

by BitterlyJitteryandAlsoAnxious February 15, 2020

cranking duel

The act of crying and wanking, then formed into a competition between a group of friends. The game involves performing the act of cranking, then collecting the produced fluids before having to drink all fluids produced. First to down the produce wins the duel.

Also known as crank-off.

Guy 1: Hey man, this is so boring.
Guy 2: Yeah, you know. Wanna crank?
Guy 3: What about a cranking duel ..?
Guy 1: Sure thing! I'm a cranking master.

by jmLTspanish August 6, 2012