Refers to an individual (usually a male) who is in a relationship with another individual (usually a female). This person is a huge simp but will do whatever it takes to hide that side of themself from everyone. Acts tough with a hardshell but deep down simps for their significant other.
"Jeff is such a hardo, buddy a straight cold hearted savage. Doesn't get pushed around ever by his girl"
*When alone with his girl, Jeff is a huge pushover closet simp*
*When alone with his girl, Jeff is a huge pushover closet simp*
by YungJazzers July 08, 2020
by juanmartinez November 27, 2018
A six legged creature that is found in your closet. It has two legs to hold the door, and four legs to shred some more. It is of the same species of the wampus cat.
Chris: Oh no! The closet Wampus totally shredded my abercrombie sweater!!
Ryan: That sucks man. The same thing happened to me, except it was my pants.
Ryan: That sucks man. The same thing happened to me, except it was my pants.
by ryaniscool October 22, 2008
The state, usually long-term, of being a closet homosexual that is beyond the usual level of gay and is too much of a pussy to come out of the closet. This person is usually very angry at the world because he/she has not yet advanced to being able to be a sexual accurate being.
Larry asked his girlfriend for anal sex on such a consistent basis it became clear to her he was a closet clinger.
"Oh for Christ's sake, I wish Jim would just stop closet clinging and stop using my sister as a ploy to come across as heterosexual" (friend repilies) "Fuck yeah, he's always such a moody bitch every time our family gets together I wish he would just stop closet clinging too!"
"Get outta my ass you dirty closet clinger"
"Oh for Christ's sake, I wish Jim would just stop closet clinging and stop using my sister as a ploy to come across as heterosexual" (friend repilies) "Fuck yeah, he's always such a moody bitch every time our family gets together I wish he would just stop closet clinging too!"
"Get outta my ass you dirty closet clinger"
by Squeaked Moose October 21, 2011
Anyone who has political views and or opinions, but are too afraid to say what they think to remain neutral and avoid confrontation.
CNN Reporter: "What are your views on the Wall?"
Closet Politician: *Oh no, what should I say?* * If I tell CNN what I truly think, they will twist my words and I'll somehow end up on Top 10 worst criminals in the world.*
CNN Reporter: "Sir?"
Closet Politician: "Give me one second, I'm still thinking."
CNN Reporter: "It shouldn't be that difficult, it's not like I'm asking you to do a backflip?"
Closet Politician: "Did you just ask me to do a backflip?"
CNN Reporter: *Before reporter can get a word out*
Closet Politician: *Does backflip*
CNN Reporter: *Sighs and walks off, talking aloud to himself* " How are we going to make fake news if everyone is too afraid to tell us their political views, that is the fifteenth backflip someone has done today."
Closet Politician: *Oh no, what should I say?* * If I tell CNN what I truly think, they will twist my words and I'll somehow end up on Top 10 worst criminals in the world.*
CNN Reporter: "Sir?"
Closet Politician: "Give me one second, I'm still thinking."
CNN Reporter: "It shouldn't be that difficult, it's not like I'm asking you to do a backflip?"
Closet Politician: "Did you just ask me to do a backflip?"
CNN Reporter: *Before reporter can get a word out*
Closet Politician: *Does backflip*
CNN Reporter: *Sighs and walks off, talking aloud to himself* " How are we going to make fake news if everyone is too afraid to tell us their political views, that is the fifteenth backflip someone has done today."
by Mr.TrollNDaNTaNet January 31, 2019
by Yanks01 January 06, 2009
1) Someone who appears to be different from Gorge Bush in order to hoodwink the American people.
2) Someone who can simultaneously: increase America's war effort, do nothing about anything elce and win the Nobel peace prize.
3) To get a mouth full of hair when playing the closet game
2) Someone who can simultaneously: increase America's war effort, do nothing about anything elce and win the Nobel peace prize.
3) To get a mouth full of hair when playing the closet game
The current president is a Closet Bush
-OR-
"what did i do last night.......why is there so much hair between my teeth......"
-OR-
"what did i do last night.......why is there so much hair between my teeth......"
by SeraphimXD December 08, 2009