Mormon Surprise

When a man dressed in his fancy Mormon underpants sneaks into his sweetie pies bed and lies in wait for her to arrive and give her the "Mormon Surprise".

Jacob snuck into his sweetie pie Mary's bedroom wearing only his Mormon underpants, he crawled into bed, clapped off the lights and waited, when Mary returned home and got in bed, Jacob gave Mary the old Mormon Surprise. Mary was very happy and slept soundly.

by sparkles23 July 11, 2009

Mormon Smackdown

When one man and several women engage in a dogpile/sexfest.

I got into a Mormon Smackdown last week and there were elbow drops and rimjobs everywhere.

by Thermos Frick July 11, 2008

mormon fries

When a person of Mormon faith is taking a shit, and the shit pieces fall in a manner that makes this person believe their feces is the one true prophet, heir to Brigham Young and Joseph Smith, leader of men and receiver of revelation. The Mormon then takes the shit pieces from the toilet and studies them in a special baseball cap made of yak pubes, and quotes the text from the shit pieces to another who writes them down on legal note pads. The shit pieces are then named, and saved in sweet pickle jars under the bed.

The other day I took a shit, and found the lost books of Moroni!

For reals?

Hell yes, for reals! And you know what else?

What?

Goddamn if my shit didn't tell me I'm Joseph's third cousin on his fourth wife's side?

Yo! you had some Mormon fries!

Tell me about it! And I'm a Catholic!

Sum-bitch!

Damn!

Yep, yep!

by Trevor Whitecliff February 13, 2008

Mormon coastguarding

(v) The act of rejecting a man who is trying to engage in Mormon docking with you.

I was trying to Mormon dock my Mormon girlfriend last night, but she kept Mormon coastguarding me. No port of call for me!

by Brigham Young's barrel chest December 31, 2011

mormon carbomb

amormon carbomb is when you is when you take your wife and your best friends wife on a long road trip you wait til they fall asleep and you lock the windows and you let out the raunchiest farts known to earth

it's a long trip from maine to california may as well drop a few mormon carbombs on the way

by sanxity July 03, 2019

Jack Mormon

Any class of hypocritical, self-righteous bastards that are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and are prim and proper on Sunday morning and in front of other Mormons, but swear like sailors at work, secretly drink like a fish, cruise the net for kiddie porn on their work computers and are man-whores all over town.

"Always take at least two Mormons fishing with you or the damned Jack Mormon will drink all your beer"

by Demented Fish August 10, 2007

Mormon Steeple

Occurs when a Mormon male becomes visibly aroused in church while staring at a family member.

Jacob's sister is so hot. If I were him I'd never lose my Mormon Steeple.

by Norco Nobody April 18, 2015