jared padalecki

my beautiful gorgeous delicious sweet amazing(did i mention beautiful?) wife. jared padalecki is the most gorgeous man on earth n honestly should be the president of our country. he has been gorgeous since the 1990s, his specific peak(controversially) being the 2010s. hes been in many goated movies(may i include house of wax?) including friday the 13th the 2009 remaster(where his moobs were outrageously huge), supernatural(where he had luscious hair), and gilmore girls(where he was an extremely sexy jerk). i could write an entire paragraph on this man. he is so incredibly amazingly amazing amazing amazing it never fails to fly over my head. literally the most delicious man ever. extremely bitable and uh.. may i say extremely arousing. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN EVER. if u don’t agree then you are not the brightest in the bunch.

girl: “bazinga!! jared padaleckis man boobs are huge in this movie, lawd have mercy..”

(straight) boy: “biyaaaatch.. imma straight male but giirl u right, he could tots get it.”

—

random: “have u watched supernatural? season 5 sam makes me wanna combust, dear god.”

another random: “yeah, seeing him made me bust in my pants.”

by eatsjaredpadaleckischewedgum February 24, 2025

Jared

fucking sucks

Jared fucking sucks

by nngls November 23, 2021

Hurricane Jared

After sex the condom is removed, Turned inside out and spun around above the head, yelling Hurricane Jared.

Mikey did a hurricane jared the last time he hooked up with Patty.

by anonymous December 30, 2023

Jared

One who continually wife’s up 3s

Damn what does a jared and steph curry have in commone? They consistently nail 3s

by Ray furgason May 20, 2019

Jared Laing

Jared is a tall man who hit puberty at a young age. He has a huge d**k and the ladies can always see his bulge.

"Look at him you can see it his name must be Jared Laing"

by Jackasswhohatesyouall December 8, 2016

Jared

A fucking adopted cunt who thinks hes the shit. Beat his ass god damn it

Jared:I'm cool
The boys: Shut up jared your fucking adopted!

by Diabetic surgeon October 15, 2019

Jared

Having the name Jared is basically having reached the end you are the best you have achieved everything if your name is Jared by the time you have completed life you will have made boris Johnson shut the fuck up you would have made infinate funny season of modern family you have in vented the infinate money machine you have defeated all these 9 year old internet clown who have supported jake Paul and Bryce hall and most importantly you have taken everyones girl on earth

Oh another Jared just stole my ting well he’s Jared he is a sexy beast it is natural

by Best defffonitions July 31, 2021