Talk to me nicely, talk to me normal, I promise it’s 50/50. And if you wanna speak alone tell me a story that ends at the place you most cherish.
212
Ninja October 23 2021
212
Ninja October 23 2021
by TMNT August 10, 2022
Get the God of AdHdmug. When an individual wakes in the morning and has breakfast and coffee whilst attempting to defecate on the toilet simultaneously.
Hila: *knocks* I need to use the restroom!
Ethan: Can't, Good morning and God Bless !
Hila: Do you need Ketchup or TP?
Ethan: Can't, Good morning and God Bless !
Hila: Do you need Ketchup or TP?
by KnowledgeForTheAnxious May 29, 2018
Get the Good morning and God blessmug. Some guy "Hey man, you ever wonder who made everything?"
Some other guy "Uuuum-I did that... Yep... I did that waaaaaaaay back in the day. Before you were even a guy."
The first guy "Awshitnoway for real!?"
God "Yeah dawg... Yup... It was me."
Dawg "No fuckin way bro that is sick! That must have taken a long time."
God "Nah Dawg, that shit only took 7 days. Nah, 6 days. I took a nap the 7th day."
Dawg "Damn bro... That's nuts."
God "Right? Yeah, so I'm going to need you to burn down Sodom and Gomorrah."
Dawg "What?"
God "Yeah, I'm not about any of that shit. Go. Grab another guy. Go get Abraham and tell him we're going to burn down the city."
Dawg "Aw well shit man... I guess I'd better do that then..."
God "Yeah I will burn your soul forever if you don't!"
Dawg "Oho! Man, ouch! Doesn't sound fun. Alright... I'll tell Michael about the you making everything in 7 days shit though. You're a dope guy man. Thanks for all the stuff."
God "Yeah, we'll kill the canaanites next. Oh, and this is my son Jesus and he's better than everyone forever."
Dawg "Aw cool, bye Jesus!" *Walks away*
Some other guy "Uuuum-I did that... Yep... I did that waaaaaaaay back in the day. Before you were even a guy."
The first guy "Awshitnoway for real!?"
God "Yeah dawg... Yup... It was me."
Dawg "No fuckin way bro that is sick! That must have taken a long time."
God "Nah Dawg, that shit only took 7 days. Nah, 6 days. I took a nap the 7th day."
Dawg "Damn bro... That's nuts."
God "Right? Yeah, so I'm going to need you to burn down Sodom and Gomorrah."
Dawg "What?"
God "Yeah, I'm not about any of that shit. Go. Grab another guy. Go get Abraham and tell him we're going to burn down the city."
Dawg "Aw well shit man... I guess I'd better do that then..."
God "Yeah I will burn your soul forever if you don't!"
Dawg "Oho! Man, ouch! Doesn't sound fun. Alright... I'll tell Michael about the you making everything in 7 days shit though. You're a dope guy man. Thanks for all the stuff."
God "Yeah, we'll kill the canaanites next. Oh, and this is my son Jesus and he's better than everyone forever."
Dawg "Aw cool, bye Jesus!" *Walks away*
by Hym Iam June 19, 2023
Get the Godmug. by Teddy Bund January 30, 2023
Get the The Rap Godmug. Captain chug it always fuckin them bitches stealing them riches burnin through witches, a stylish G named by the people loved by all never shall he fall into anything but good pussy!
by The Pit Monster June 18, 2022
Get the god doug itmug. A pagan entity, worshipped since ancient times BC but not well known nowadays.
Its despicted in the classic paintings as an old drag queen riding a pink alicorn, wielding a 3 foot log dildo-shaped scepter, forged by Hephaestus himself.
One swing from his scepter can create massive earthquakes, rainbows, volcanic eruptions and gay parades worldwide. People are used to blame HAARP for such drastic environmental changes, when actually its Gay God angry at mortals for making bad use of decoration and fashion.
In a distant past LGBTQIA+ people would sacrifice young virgin gays to calm down Gay God, not before they get voluntarily sodomized by 10 inch BBCs.
Its despicted in the classic paintings as an old drag queen riding a pink alicorn, wielding a 3 foot log dildo-shaped scepter, forged by Hephaestus himself.
One swing from his scepter can create massive earthquakes, rainbows, volcanic eruptions and gay parades worldwide. People are used to blame HAARP for such drastic environmental changes, when actually its Gay God angry at mortals for making bad use of decoration and fashion.
In a distant past LGBTQIA+ people would sacrifice young virgin gays to calm down Gay God, not before they get voluntarily sodomized by 10 inch BBCs.
Gay 1: Girl, just look at this shirt, don't you think im fabulous?
Gay 2: Yeah, but those horrific shoes are out of fashion and don't match anything. I will pray for Gay God to not punish us.
Gay 2: Yeah, but those horrific shoes are out of fashion and don't match anything. I will pray for Gay God to not punish us.
by H1b3rt0 March 8, 2023
Get the Gay Godmug. I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD!
Hym "Is that ACTUALLY what he said? 'I RELY ON GOD!'? Because IF NOT... You had 8 years to stop that Megyn. Who are you protecting by doing this Meg? Who are they dying for? Not for your kids. It isn't protecting your kids. You're not doing it FOR your kids. At this point they are dying to get m eto KILL your kids. Really. What is the point of this? TO PRESERVE YOUR OWN SOLIPSISM! So you can walk past the homeless guy as though he wasn't even there. It doesn't matter that they died to you because once they are I the ground the are out of sight and out of mind. It doesn't matter to you if I stab someone's kid because as soon as I do, you can unleash your sadistic fantasies and then act like nothing happened. All you are trying to do is maintain the zoo animal/patron dynamic we have going on here and it is better for everyone if you stop."
by Hym Iam July 17, 2025
Get the I RELY ON GOD!mug.