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Jonathan

A fucking lazy diptard who doesn't come to school for multiple days in a row, and no one gives a shit. But is still surprisingly really good at school work.
Oh shit Jonathan's not here again, what a surprise. I bet her jerking off to gay porn again!
by Longsholngbongtongnigga69 December 5, 2019
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johnathon

1. When you race a friend to the Porta-Potty.
2. When you run a long way to get to the Porta-Potty.
1. I ran a johnathon against Jack.
2. Dylan ran a johnathon because the Porta-Potty was 30 yards away.
by DarthRM February 27, 2015
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Jonathan

A complete dumbass that is looking at his friends phone right now. He smells like shit and is atleast 5 foot and is a complete retard. He always tells fake stories to his friends and says it actually happens.
Jonathan is a faggot.
by Jaba The Fuck January 27, 2020
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johnathon cena

A John Cena poser. Thinks he is the greatest man alive, but is as useful as a tin can with AIDS.
by Woodchuck Norris March 7, 2016
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Jonathan Barnes

Huge cock, makes women come 10 times over, stomps on other fags.
Cum tastes of marshmallows.
I got Jonathan Barnes'd last night.
by jem1847 April 18, 2016
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Jonathan

A Jonathan is a clear plastic water bottle of any size filled halfway or all the way with water, stuffed with basically any piece of plastic or paper or dirt you can find and held as a keepsake. You shake it and just bring it around with you.

Walking to a job interview? Bring your homemade Jonathan with you. Funeral? Jonathan's coming with you too.

Some ideas of materials to put in your Jonathan include moldy bread, anti-brain zap tablet boxes, or anything you can find. You can purchase ready-made Jonathans in Argos.
Elliot: Hey Brad! Whatcha got there?
Brad: Hi Elliott! Oh, this old thing? This is a Jonathan. I made it myself.
by Pianopunkxo August 20, 2017
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Jonathan

by Deslselerlrr December 5, 2018
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