slow worm

1. Someone with both a tendency to be late and yet somehow either inconsequentially or fortuitously so.

They may tend to either get away with it or even dodge the bullet.

They tend to simultaneously be a late worm. The early bird gets the worm. The late worm misses the bird but not the mud, there is always mud. Thus, it is not only better to be early but also to be late.

A slow worm is always late and thus bird proof. A survivor, escaping fate on account of being slow, retarded, delayed, behind, late, etc.

2. Something that is not a worm nor a snake but a fake snake.

It is in fact a lizard that has had its legs ripped off to pass as a snake to hawk on the highly lucrative snake market. Snake is used abroad as a delicacy to make either snake cake which is believed to bestow immense sexual prowess or snake bake which exorcizes unholy spirits inhabiting the left ear canal.

Lizard is only used in traditional medicine to make lizard custard, a purgative of such incredible and excruciating potency that it is rarely desirable out side of a few niche markets such as the Japanese tub porn industry. Supply far exceeds demand and it is of little value.

Sometimes referred to as a trans-snake. Not to be confused with Phalloplasty.

Steve: Holy shit! Did you see the news?
Dave: No, what's up.
Steve: Jack's plane crashed, no one survived.
Dave: Did he die?
Steve: No, he was late, he missed his flight.
Dave: He was always a slow worm.

Steve: Did you see Jack's latest Donkey Porn?
Dave: Yes, it was gross. Looked like a chocolate geyser.
Steve: Looked like a whale blowing sewage out of its blowhole.
Dave: She should submit it to the Guinness Book of Records.
Steve: They probably won't accept it, they'll say they can't rule out doping.
Dave: What do you mean?
Steve: She probably downed a pint of slow worm before the shoot.
Dave: More like chute.

by DeluxeFartJuiceLevelNine January 28, 2023

slow face

it means u so slow dat u got da slow look on yo face,like u lost or somethin.

you slow face a$$ idiota!

by Tenisha January 19, 2005

slow-cooked corn chili

It's when you take a shit and find whole bits of corn staring back at you. An especially chuncky turd filled with corn -- in theory, slow-cooked XXX chili could be replaced where XXX = peanuts, twizzlers, peas, etc.

After drinking 13 PBR's, I tried pushing a fart out but instead got a load of slow-cooked corn chili in my underwear.

by donkeykongdick January 9, 2008

Slow bone

Make love. Take yur time having sex. To have sex slowly. Long deep slow pumps.

Pet my kitty cat. Gimme that slow bone.

by pradowhite72 June 2, 2015

Slow Ride

Woo

Slow ride
Take it easy
Slow ride
Take it easy
Slow ride
Take it easy
Slow ride
Take it easy

I'm in the mood
The rhythm is right
Move to the music
We can roll all night

Ooh, slow ride
Ooh

Slow ride
Take it easy
Slow ride
Take it easy

Slow down, go down
Got to get your lovin' one more time
Hold me, roll me
Slow ridin' woman, you're so fine

Woo

I'm in the mood
The rhythm is right
Move to the music, yeah
We can roll all night, yeah

Ooh

Slow ride
Take it easy
Slow ride
Take it easy

Slow down, go down
Got to get your lovin' one more time
Hold me, roll me
Slow ridin' woman, you're so fine

Slow ride
Easy
Slow ride
Sleazy
Slow ride
Easy
Slow ride
Sleazy

by Death Menace March 5, 2023

Slow Your Row

Same maening as "Slow your roll" however, much more clever in its creation becuase not only does it advised the person your speaking to that they need to slow down or back off, it also makes you look much more smooth as it rhyms.

Whoa whoa slow your row homie.

by Smooth J November 11, 2009

Slow Tuesday

The "Slow Tuesday": When you're screwing a girl reverse cowgirl and slap her tits, but just a little bit.

1: "Oh man, last night I was fucking Jennifer and I did the Slow Tuesday, it was fucking awesome"
2: "Shut the fuck up 1, no one cares"
1: " ): "

by Taco7692 December 25, 2012