A destination wedding that is planned to create undue expense, little to do for the guests, short duration, and (foremost) create a “hey, look at me/us” event for the loving but entitled couple.
“OMG, I accompanied my girlfriend to this vanity wedding which cost us a lot of money for a 15 minute glamour photo-op for the bride and groom. They had no concept of the expenses involved for everyone. They should have eloped. We’d all be happier.”
by DiogenesLives January 1, 2024
Get the vanity weddingmug. Noun
A wedding where the bride, groom, and most of their immediate family have all had a collective glow-up thanks to Ozempic. Everyone’s snatched, cheekbones are sharp enough to slice cake (if there were any), and the only thing thinner than the guest list is the menu. Instead of a buffet, expect a single crudité platter and one shrimp doing laps around a martini glass. No one eats, no one blinks, but damn, the photos are fire.
A wedding where the bride, groom, and most of their immediate family have all had a collective glow-up thanks to Ozempic. Everyone’s snatched, cheekbones are sharp enough to slice cake (if there were any), and the only thing thinner than the guest list is the menu. Instead of a buffet, expect a single crudité platter and one shrimp doing laps around a martini glass. No one eats, no one blinks, but damn, the photos are fire.
Ava: “Was Emily’s wedding fun?”
Jordan: “Total Ozempic Wedding. Everyone looked hot, but I left starving and pretty sure the cake was imaginary.”
Jordan: “Total Ozempic Wedding. Everyone looked hot, but I left starving and pretty sure the cake was imaginary.”
by Hungryguest March 29, 2025
Get the Ozempic Weddingmug. by Nastykitty1981 June 2, 2015
Get the Dirty Wedding Bandmug. Tim: Yo, did you hear? I got Married
Bill: Wow, really? To Whom? I thought you where a Virgin Neckbeard
Tim: Yea, bro. I found a girl on the street, she looked like Sagari from "Eromanga Senesi" so we had a Kyrgyzstani Wedding
Bill: Dang, why didn't you Invite me? I could have helped you carry her
Tim: I did, but you said you were busy Tossing Salads behind an Arby's
Bill: Wow, really? To Whom? I thought you where a Virgin Neckbeard
Tim: Yea, bro. I found a girl on the street, she looked like Sagari from "Eromanga Senesi" so we had a Kyrgyzstani Wedding
Bill: Dang, why didn't you Invite me? I could have helped you carry her
Tim: I did, but you said you were busy Tossing Salads behind an Arby's
by CoochieSayer420 December 2, 2020
Get the Kyrgyzstani Weddingmug. A private ceremony where participants usually cousins close relatives after a Rowan county wedding have sex with the bride to conceive a inbred child
Why wasn’t I invited to the wedding reception….. well it wasn’t a normal wedding reception it was a Rowan county wedding reception you have to be a close relative to be invited
by ChuckZilla78 March 17, 2024
Get the Rowan county wedding receptionmug. A "No Surprises Wedding," or NSW, is a wedding invitation designation that tells attendees that there can be no unplanned announcements, engagements, events or speeches at the wedding - all actions must be pre-approved by the couple. Anyone who performs an unapproved "surprise" will be asked to leave the wedding early.
This designation comes from Reddit, where so many stories of bad wedding behavior indicated a need to communicate expectations for the wedding behavior of attendees.
This designation comes from Reddit, where so many stories of bad wedding behavior indicated a need to communicate expectations for the wedding behavior of attendees.
You are cordially invited to the nuptials of Brian and Tom on October 31 at noon.
Please note that this wedding is child-free (under 10) and a No Surprises Wedding (NSW). Reach out to wedding planner Sami Smith to request approvals or exceptions; please note that exceptions will be rare. Limited child care for under-10s will be available. All approvals will be noted and included in planning. Unapproved, or surprise exceptions, will result in guests being asked to leave.
Please note that this wedding is child-free (under 10) and a No Surprises Wedding (NSW). Reach out to wedding planner Sami Smith to request approvals or exceptions; please note that exceptions will be rare. Limited child care for under-10s will be available. All approvals will be noted and included in planning. Unapproved, or surprise exceptions, will result in guests being asked to leave.
by dbdefenestrate August 27, 2023
Get the No Surprises Weddingmug.