The Laws of Hipsterism

1) One's goal shalt always be in contradiction with one's actions (the Irony Law). The is the foundation of all ye hipsterism, and the law that binds all other laws.

2) Nothing shalt be practical, a hipster shalt do everything for appearances.

2) Finally, a hipster shalt never claim to be a hipster.

Ye Application of The Laws of Hipsterism:

#1
Normal Person: Hey you want to go shopping with me?
Hipster female: No, I don't care about how I look.

(Hipster Female shalt then traverse to ye Olde Thrift store where thou shalt spend one full half day looking for garments)

#2
Normal Person: Hey! I like this artist. Their music is good!!

(Thou buys/downloads album to listen to)

Hipster Guy: *No inner monologue, for hipsters do not think consciously for themselves.

(Thou buys Vinyl to show ye others that thou purchases Vinyls.)

#3
Hipster One: I hate hipsters.

Hipster Two: Me too! God! I'm going to write an entry in Olde English and send it into Urban Dictionary that professes my hate for hipsters!!

Hipster One: Right on dude!! Hey you want to go to the thrift store afterwords to go buy records?

Hipster Two: Sorry man, but I can't I'll be pretty busy writing that entry and my fixed gear bike's in the shop right now.

Hipster One: It's cool dude...I...I love you.

Hipster Two: I...I love you too.
________________________________________________

THESE ARE THE RULES TO BE SPREAD FAR ABOVE THE SKY AND ACROSS THE LAND: FOREVER AND EARNESTLY, UN-IRONICALLY AND FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND!!!

by smellls November 6, 2011

Drew's Law

Drew's Law states that you're only allowed to date or hookup with someone within 1 grade level in high school. For example;

Freshman can only hookup with other freshman, or sophomores
Sophomores can only hookup with freshman and juniors
Juniors can only hookup with sophomores and seniors
Seniors can only hookup with juniors or seniors

Exception: If the person was held back a year, then their grade level counts for one above

Drew: Hey did you see that Alanna (a sophomore) hooked up with a senior?

Paxton: She's a sophomore with a senior? That violates Drew's Law, I thought she was with Ben?

Drew: Not anymore

by DrewTheGod October 22, 2018

husband in Law

The guy who hooks up with your exwife

I hope my husband in law didnt wear out the old lady while i was gone

by Suka may korncob January 3, 2019

Syndrome's Law

The viewpoint that, if every individual item can be defined as , then none of them do.
The term comes from the 2004 Pixar film "The Incredibles", wherein the main antagonist, Buddy "Syndrome" Pine, states,
"... when I'm old and I've had my fun, I'll sell my inventions so that everyone can be superheroes. Everyone can be super. And when everyone's super, no one will be."

"If every character is broken and overpowered, then none of them are"
That's what's referred to as "Syndrome's Law"

by JKPwnage January 19, 2019

Adham’s Law

Adham’s Law states:
“If you are of no use to Adham in any way, shape, or form, then you don’t exist.”

*Class argues about simple Math questions*
Adham: “I’m outta here. None of you are worth anything”
Y. Nashef: “Good job in applying Adham’s Law!”
Adham: “Naturally.”

by Lancelot_811 February 3, 2019

Hoffman's Law

Temporary solutions tend to become permanent.

Take the time to do it the right way before Hoffman's Law bites us.

by DevOps Dude May 30, 2018

Savage's Law

Savage's Law is the observations that most or all misanthropes project their own character flaws and negative qualities onto the rest of the human species.

It's another expression of Freudian projection that a guy with the last name Savage witnessed in misanthropes.

"All authoritarians seem to follow Savage's Law"
"All authoritarians seem to succumb Savage's Law"
"All authoritarians seem to exemplify Savage's Law"
"All politicians of the Left and the Right seem to follow Savage's Law"
"Leftists seem to follow Savage's Law"

by BeastlyTw@t November 10, 2022