The act of wasting or poorly using time in order to delay commencement or completion of an important task, duty or job by performing any other menial or cleaning task or utilising nearby equipment/tools, typically within hands reach.
Includes cleaning, watching TV, adjusting the settings of every device you own, polishing the family jewels and creating articles about phrases you intend to quote as excuses later.
Includes cleaning, watching TV, adjusting the settings of every device you own, polishing the family jewels and creating articles about phrases you intend to quote as excuses later.
Brad Pitt felt like a spot of Procrastination Masturbation, thus put Project Mayhem on hold so he could grow a beard and advertise perfume in black and white.
by Burns Crazysoft February 28, 2013
Get the Procrastination Masturbation mug.Either debating/arguing/discussing about things(for more than a short bit of time) that don't matter, or debating/arguing/discussing about things that matter without taking any action.
Examples of "Intellectual Masturbation":
Debating/arguing/discussing about things that don't matter:
Jeremy: did you hear about the new stabbing?
Zoey: yeah, it is really terrible... I wonder why this keeps happening? people in the world... are sometimes so unpredictable.
Jeremy: Yeah... I hear you. I hope nothing like this happens again. Damn... those things are just so awful...
or
Jeremy: So my friend made a theater room in his apartment and they barely watch anything there.
Zoey: I would actually watch stuff in a theater room if I had one.
or
Jeremy: I think League of Legends is better than Dota
Zoey: I think Dota is better than League of Legends
Jeremy: Ok, let's give our full opinion and discuss exactly why we think they way we do.
Debating/arguing/discussing about things that matter without taking any action:
Jeremy: our system is broken... we really need to fix it. People need to be nicer to each other.
Zoey: You are So right. Change has to happen
Jeremy: Anyway... I gotta go to my 9 to 5 job. Wanna watch the new episode of Game of Thrones later?
Zoey: Yeah. Gonna go to study literature, I hope to become a book author. Maybe I'll even write a book about how the world needs to change.
Jeremy: Catch you later!
Zoey: Bye bye!
Debating/arguing/discussing about things that don't matter:
Jeremy: did you hear about the new stabbing?
Zoey: yeah, it is really terrible... I wonder why this keeps happening? people in the world... are sometimes so unpredictable.
Jeremy: Yeah... I hear you. I hope nothing like this happens again. Damn... those things are just so awful...
or
Jeremy: So my friend made a theater room in his apartment and they barely watch anything there.
Zoey: I would actually watch stuff in a theater room if I had one.
or
Jeremy: I think League of Legends is better than Dota
Zoey: I think Dota is better than League of Legends
Jeremy: Ok, let's give our full opinion and discuss exactly why we think they way we do.
Debating/arguing/discussing about things that matter without taking any action:
Jeremy: our system is broken... we really need to fix it. People need to be nicer to each other.
Zoey: You are So right. Change has to happen
Jeremy: Anyway... I gotta go to my 9 to 5 job. Wanna watch the new episode of Game of Thrones later?
Zoey: Yeah. Gonna go to study literature, I hope to become a book author. Maybe I'll even write a book about how the world needs to change.
Jeremy: Catch you later!
Zoey: Bye bye!
by JohnSmith532452452 October 31, 2015
Get the intellectual masturbation mug.Related Words
Verbal Masturbation is commonly found amoung the arrogant, highly self absorbed people.
when you verbally masturbate, you essentially puke out the most disgustingly boring things about yourself, and you only ever talk about how great you are, or how great your life is, blahblahblah.
a common feeling amoung the ill-faited audience of a verbal masturbater is the hard to ignore urges to slice off the offenders head, put it in a blender, and then feed it to dogs. and if they are REALLY not worth it, feed the head to homeless people, as they will take anything.
when you verbally masturbate, you essentially puke out the most disgustingly boring things about yourself, and you only ever talk about how great you are, or how great your life is, blahblahblah.
a common feeling amoung the ill-faited audience of a verbal masturbater is the hard to ignore urges to slice off the offenders head, put it in a blender, and then feed it to dogs. and if they are REALLY not worth it, feed the head to homeless people, as they will take anything.
"That prick over there kept verbally masturbating, and had me snoring for an hour."
OR
"Man, that chick is so hot, i'm gonna do the verbal masturbation all over her to show her how HOT i am"
OR
"Man, that chick is so hot, i'm gonna do the verbal masturbation all over her to show her how HOT i am"
by coocoocachoo December 28, 2005
Get the verbal masturbation mug.he couldn't get out of the friend zone so he had some tearful masturbation while listening to 'someone like you' by adele
by poopyissad December 30, 2011
Get the tearful masturbation mug.like when a fat bitch runs.
as in a porno flick when a bitch's ass is getting railed and it vibrates or "faturates"
as in a porno flick when a bitch's ass is getting railed and it vibrates or "faturates"
by rangi February 20, 2004
Get the faturation mug.When a person who is part of a culture or community identifies so strongly with it that they rarely talk about anything other than how much they love said culture and thus develop tunnel vision and narrow minded behavior.
Example 1: Tyronda's tumblr has over 300 posts about how proud she is to be black and how eminem's music is cultural appropriation. I think she has a cultural masturbation problem.
Example 2: John is always going on and on about the achievements of white people and how many things they've invented even though he hasn't accomplished anything himself. I think he suffers from chronic cultural masturbation.
Example 2: John is always going on and on about the achievements of white people and how many things they've invented even though he hasn't accomplished anything himself. I think he suffers from chronic cultural masturbation.
by Dingledorgle December 18, 2016
Get the Cultural Masturbation mug.by Faghat July 29, 2012
Get the Fapsturbation mug.