by Annuwbies March 29, 2025
Get the Blerb mug.Origin: First officially documented in the year of our Lord 2024 by Mike K. of Redondo Beach — a man whose voice was smooth as silk and whose spiritual awakening is constantly being tested by schmo's playing with their phones in meetings, and weak coffee. Blessings be unto him.
An evolved species of AA old-timer who walks the fine line between enlightenment and homicide. The Bleeding Statesman is a spiritual hybrid — part Elder Statesman, part Bleeding Deacon — combining hard-won wisdom with low-key exasperation and an intolerance for bullshit.
With decades of sobriety under their belt, they’ve seen it all — the steps, the slogans, the cycles — and still manage to show up (mostly on time). They carry a sharp spiritual toolkit and just enough restraint to stay out of jail. Think Zen master, but with mild caffeine withdrawal and unresolved group conscience trauma.
They don’t judge — they perform character assessments.
They meditate — on que with "I cant believe this b*tch is sharing this again"
They’re spiritually grounded — but always five seconds away from leaving.
An evolved species of AA old-timer who walks the fine line between enlightenment and homicide. The Bleeding Statesman is a spiritual hybrid — part Elder Statesman, part Bleeding Deacon — combining hard-won wisdom with low-key exasperation and an intolerance for bullshit.
With decades of sobriety under their belt, they’ve seen it all — the steps, the slogans, the cycles — and still manage to show up (mostly on time). They carry a sharp spiritual toolkit and just enough restraint to stay out of jail. Think Zen master, but with mild caffeine withdrawal and unresolved group conscience trauma.
They don’t judge — they perform character assessments.
They meditate — on que with "I cant believe this b*tch is sharing this again"
They’re spiritually grounded — but always five seconds away from leaving.
“I watched Mike meditate for like 40 minutes before the meeting… but then he snapped and told the newcomer to stop reading the promises like it was a TED Talk. That man’s a textbook Bleeding Statesman.”
“The dude’s got 30 years, quotes the Big Book and Marcus Aurelius, and still glares when someone’s late. Total Bleeding Statesman.”
“He sat through 10 minutes of announcements grumbling… then muttered, ‘This isn’t a PTA meeting,’ and walked out. Bleeding Statesman energy all day.”
“She shared for 25 minutes about her cat, and he just sat there blinking. Then he whispered, ‘Tradition Five, not storytime,’ and stared into the void. Certified Bleeding Statesman.”
“The dude’s got 30 years, quotes the Big Book and Marcus Aurelius, and still glares when someone’s late. Total Bleeding Statesman.”
“He sat through 10 minutes of announcements grumbling… then muttered, ‘This isn’t a PTA meeting,’ and walked out. Bleeding Statesman energy all day.”
“She shared for 25 minutes about her cat, and he just sat there blinking. Then he whispered, ‘Tradition Five, not storytime,’ and stared into the void. Certified Bleeding Statesman.”
by Sponsorus Maximus April 6, 2025
Get the Bleeding Statesman mug.A "typically degree/number of occurrences under these particular circumstances" figure regarding whether "Da Great One" will favor you.
Da term "blessedimate" could also refer to how often dat you will get da standard verbal response after you sneeze; said percentage would depend on factors such as how many times per day dat you typically discharge your nasal-cannon, what portion of your waking hours you usually spend in da company of others, whether said fellow humans are comfy/familiar with voicing said comment, etc.
by QuacksO April 9, 2025
Get the blessedimate mug.by Angel234IsTheDarkSeraphim April 15, 2025
Get the Bler, The First Wife Of Hellstrom, The God Of Interpersonal Communication, Bler mug.by Angel234IsTheDarkSeraphim April 15, 2025
Get the Bler, The First Wife Of Hellstrom, The God Of Circuitry, Bler mug.An uncanny ability to miss shots at point-blank range while somehow landing accidental headshots on teammates
A persistent tendency to purchase expensive weapons only to immediately donate them to the enemy team
The belief that smoke grenades are purely decorative and flashbangs are best used against one's own team
An inexplicable attraction to sniper rifles despite having the aim of someone typing with oven mitts on
A persistent tendency to purchase expensive weapons only to immediately donate them to the enemy team
The belief that smoke grenades are purely decorative and flashbangs are best used against one's own team
An inexplicable attraction to sniper rifles despite having the aim of someone typing with oven mitts on
The term is believed to have originated from the sound made when such players attempt to defuse a bomb with 0.01 seconds remaining, followed by the inevitable explosion.
Usage: "Did you see that guy throw his molotov at his own feet and then try to jump through it? What a bletty!"
Usage: "Did you see that guy throw his molotov at his own feet and then try to jump through it? What a bletty!"
by the most correct man ever April 22, 2025
Get the Bletty mug.The zestiest person in Australia
by Hrafn1388 April 23, 2025
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