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Petting a Unicorn

Masturbating. The act of touching oneself to produce a favorable feeling in the groin area. Usually accompanied by some sort of mental, visual, or audio stimulation to assist in reaching climax.
I could not sleep last night so ended up Petting a Unicorn.
by Baba Bizzle June 24, 2017
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pettinessity

Upper Echelon Pettiness. The necessity for pettiness. Like being initiated into a secret society of extreme petty behavior.
Like if someone stepped on someone's shoe and they burned their house down for it. "That's some pettinessity if ever I saw it."

Tupac and Biggie's deaths were unfortunate and unnecessary events that were lead to by pettinessity from anonymous parties.

"I think that musician may have been iniatiated into some kind of pettinessity. Did you see their new music video? There was all kinds of esoteric petty symbology."
by Pettiest Petty June 28, 2017
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Punting on the third strike

So, punting on third strike, yeah it's like when you like throw your knee into the ball and take one for the team and so you could take a base, but you just go punch the picher out and then go for a touchdown #extrainnings cuz bath salts, yeah.
Bitch I'm already Punting on the third strike. do you really even know what I mean?
by Patroncowboyvaquero June 6, 2018
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petting the pussy

Is Shelby going out tonight?
No, I think she is reading 50 Shades of Grey and petting the pussy.
by pussypetter6969 April 5, 2019
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The action when you get so enraged at a year 7 living on this earth, so you decide to pick them up and punt them through a window. You can’t really explain it. It’s just an impulse. It just happens. You can’t help it. I don’t want to enjoy it but I do
“Shut up Kivin or i’ll Punt from you from a second floor window”
“Stop it stupid year 7 or you’re gonna get punted out that window over there
“Look Timo, i’m Punting a child out of a window!”
by Shallom69 September 13, 2019
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Petting my peeve

Another way to say “my pet peeve.” Leaves the phrase sounding a little provocative if you will or if one is so inclined open to interpretation.
Dang it ! shes really petting my peeve tonight!
by Estefuny?yes July 27, 2020
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Putin’s Razor

Principle established during the Trump Adminstration, this theory states that one should not make unnecessary logical assumptions and that the answer to a problems is often the Russians. The application of its principles are commonly used in modern politics to incite fear in the people towards a targeted opponent.
“Why is there not toilet paper?”
The Russians!”

“Why are people so mean?”
“The Russians!”

“Why is Orange Man bad?”
“The Russians! Russians! RUSSIANS!” (Putin’s Razor)
by TSDG619 November 14, 2020
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