masturbates furiously

Masturbating at a rate likely to cause friction burn.

Dude, wtf was Crowley doing this morning?

He was in early. He masturbates furiously when nobody is around... I wouldn't use that computer if I were you.

by 4th, disgusted March 6, 2008

Masturbation Exercise

the act of doing or making something for the sole purpose of cultivating a sense of self-importance. The resulting product (if any) does not benefit anyone but the creator.

His obscure and useless research on the different shades of blue sold by paint manufacturers between the years of 1965-1967 is like one giant masturbation exercise.

by Cat (like meow meow) January 18, 2009

religious masturbator

A religious masturbator is one who worships god as he or she has nothing better to do with their lives. Often, the point of being religious is to use churches and other christian events as social venues. They try to make God a 'cool dude' basicaly giving God a funboy image like themselves. Religious masturbators, or RMs for short, are often on the pull and use their apparant innocence as an RM in this act, unfortunately, most girls fall for this and in turn, usualy become RMs themselves.

If you go into a church and see a lad sitting in the middle of a group of girls wearing jeans, and an open collared white with light blue striped shirt, hair plastered with gel, u are looking at a religious masturbator

by Heavens Advocate May 13, 2005

masturbation Legend

some one who can masturbate in public places secretly. a place that was thought of as unthinkable to masturbate at.
ie. bookstore, supermarket, library, school, work!, changing rooms, etc.

person 1: yo i just masturbated in the school library!
person 2: really? yesterday i masturbated in office detention!
person 3: holy shit! what masturbation Legend's you are!

by green Tee February 15, 2008

psychopathological masturbation

"masturbating so much that it's affecting your mental health to the point of causing actual trouble in your life"
not my words.

"Masturbating is okay, but don't overdo it and turn it into psychopathological masturbation"

by Shirayuki-chan June 16, 2018

Masturbator's Wrist

An arm injury in which a person with a small penis attempts to masturbate. Similar to tennis elbow, except with masturbation.

Josh tried to masturbate, but it was too small. He had to get a cast for his masturbator's wrist.

by ERCAL April 15, 2011

institutional masturbation

The effort colleges and universities put forth to convince their alumni to participate in their fund-raising schemes. Often, these letters will cite your success as evidence of their effectiveness. When this propaganda is presented in written form, it will include at least .5 exclamation marks per paragraph.

Some F. Schmuck has challenged <insert demographic here> to raise <insert amount here> by offering to match it if our goals are met! Your contribution will enable more students to have experiences just like yours and for us to continue our tax-payer and donor funded institutional masturbation.

by Still Paying Student Loans April 11, 2008