Touchin' Cotton is when one is using every muscle in their buttocks to hold in their poop--yet no matter how hard they try it keeps poking out of their butthole making contact with their boxers/white tighties/thong/granny panties etc. Touchin' Cotton is one of the causes of skid marks.
It's a highly uncomfortable feeling, which in turn causes abnormal behavior. When Touchin' Cotton people tend to speak faster in conversations, exceed speed limits by 15-30 MPH, sweat uncontrollably and fidget in their seats as a result of the forced tightening of their anus.
Nearly 100% of U.S. Americans will find themselves Touchin' Cotton during the course of their lives.
Touchin' Cotton usually occurs:
1) Around 1-3 hours after waking up
2) Before a stressful event
3) Right after a Mexican dinner
4) Right before bedtime
Generally, when one is TCin' it, they can make it to a restroom before disaster strikes. The excrement is painful, but not explosive. A Touchin Cotton poop is generally long, cylinder in shape, and brown. It takes an average number of wipes to clean up. Unlike explosive diarrhea, when one is TCin' it, they can control the poops exit for a good while; however, within an hour they MUST find a bathroom or skid marks will become the least of their worries.
It's a highly uncomfortable feeling, which in turn causes abnormal behavior. When Touchin' Cotton people tend to speak faster in conversations, exceed speed limits by 15-30 MPH, sweat uncontrollably and fidget in their seats as a result of the forced tightening of their anus.
Nearly 100% of U.S. Americans will find themselves Touchin' Cotton during the course of their lives.
Touchin' Cotton usually occurs:
1) Around 1-3 hours after waking up
2) Before a stressful event
3) Right after a Mexican dinner
4) Right before bedtime
Generally, when one is TCin' it, they can make it to a restroom before disaster strikes. The excrement is painful, but not explosive. A Touchin Cotton poop is generally long, cylinder in shape, and brown. It takes an average number of wipes to clean up. Unlike explosive diarrhea, when one is TCin' it, they can control the poops exit for a good while; however, within an hour they MUST find a bathroom or skid marks will become the least of their worries.
"Hey dad, can you pull over at the next McDonalds, I've been Touchin' Cotton for the past 30 minutes."
"OMG Bekah, I need to leave class. I'm totally TCin' right now."
POLICE OFFICE: Sir, can you tell me why you were going 45 MPH in a 25 MPH residential neighborhood?
DRIVER: Sweating, Frantic Officer, I've been in traffic for the past 2 hours and I HAVE to get home and use the restroom. For God sakes, I've been Touchin' Cotton for the past hour.
"OMG Bekah, I need to leave class. I'm totally TCin' right now."
POLICE OFFICE: Sir, can you tell me why you were going 45 MPH in a 25 MPH residential neighborhood?
DRIVER: Sweating, Frantic Officer, I've been in traffic for the past 2 hours and I HAVE to get home and use the restroom. For God sakes, I've been Touchin' Cotton for the past hour.
by Tim L. Allen February 17, 2008
Get the Touchin' Cottonmug. The act of picking a booger out of your nose, then scratching your ass with the same finger you picked the booger out of then eating the booger.
by cottoncandyguy March 1, 2019
Get the Hungarian Cotton Candymug. "Wowsers those negrows should turn down that Cotton Pickin Music" "Look at that cracker and or saltine being black jammin to Cotton Pickin Music"
by Jiggaboo180 March 23, 2010
Get the Cotton Pickin Musicmug. by Mizz SMW September 10, 2010
Get the Shitting in tall cotton.mug. A delicious drink from the Starbucks secret menu. A light pink Frappuccino that tastes creamy and sweet and doesn't have a very strong coffee taste. Perfect for kids. How to order: Ask for a Vanilla Bean Frappuccino with one pump of raspberry syrup for tall, 1.5 for grande, and 2 for venti. Yummy!
by caramelapplesforthewin! December 21, 2014
Get the Cotton Candy Frappuccinomug. by Chidube July 14, 2006
Get the cotton picking niggamug. In the early days black people used to be slaves and had to pick up cotton for the white people and were misstreated beadly.
Slave owner: hey Jamal! Your a ugly nigga, go and PICK UP THAT COTTON! you worthless trashy nigga "multiple whip blows".
by alminkäser January 18, 2021
Get the PICK UP THAT COTTONmug.