The off-brand cousin of Indiana Jones who digs up “ancient relics” in junkyards and abandoned Walmarts. Instead of a whip, he carries a garden hose. Instead of a fedora, he wears a Bass Pro Shop hat.
Known for quotes like “It belongs in a Bass Pro Museum!” and “Snakes? I eat those for breakfast, son.” His idea of a hidden temple is an old Cracker Barrel with a suspicious basement.
Drives a rusty pickup named “The Ark of ‘Bama”, fights raccoons instead of Nazis, and once got cursed for stealing a haunted moonshine jug from a Civil War reenactment site.
Alabama James adventures include:
Alabama James and the Waffle House of Doom
Alabama James and the Lost Remote Control of Pawpaw
Alabama James and the Curse of the NASCAR Pharaoh
Has zero credentials, but says things like “Trust me, I majored in vibes.” Carries around a “holy relic” that’s just an unopened can of 1987 Tab cola.
Known for quotes like “It belongs in a Bass Pro Museum!” and “Snakes? I eat those for breakfast, son.” His idea of a hidden temple is an old Cracker Barrel with a suspicious basement.
Drives a rusty pickup named “The Ark of ‘Bama”, fights raccoons instead of Nazis, and once got cursed for stealing a haunted moonshine jug from a Civil War reenactment site.
Alabama James adventures include:
Alabama James and the Waffle House of Doom
Alabama James and the Lost Remote Control of Pawpaw
Alabama James and the Curse of the NASCAR Pharaoh
Has zero credentials, but says things like “Trust me, I majored in vibes.” Carries around a “holy relic” that’s just an unopened can of 1987 Tab cola.
by Anttonedodeson June 01, 2025
A hot tall guy who has the heart of a champion usually can be compared to a Disney kids show lead character
by WittneyBiatch88741 June 17, 2022
Keaton James is a big fat meth who lives in Middlesbrough grangetown the place all the scruffs live , he’s shagged everyone and there mamas. He got a fuzzy dick and a fat girl who gets used for her car that needs to be specially manufactured for her fat chubby belly . Keaton also liked to do a lot of drugs at the same time and ends up wetting himself 🙈🙈
by Name66868 January 13, 2024
Jelly James is a horrid bird who will steal and eat your jelly. He is an absolute bitch who only cares about himself and jelly.
Don't eat aeroplane jelly outside. He will
come.…
Don't eat aeroplane jelly outside. He will
come.…
AAAAHHHHHH!!!! IT'S JELLY JAMES THE BITCH. RUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!
by LivDaHedgeHog August 28, 2023
James is hands down one of the sexiest and smartest boys I know. I may have only been friends with him for months but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t falling in love. James is a badass boy who brings a smile to your face just looking at the guy like WHAT?! This man is the sun of my life. You’d would be so lucky to have him as a boyfriend he will have u begging for “special treatment 😏” (if u know YA KNOW). Either way I love my James 🥺❤️
by Bri_cutie August 24, 2023