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The Laws of Hipsterism

1) One's goal shalt always be in contradiction with one's actions (the Irony Law). The is the foundation of all ye hipsterism, and the law that binds all other laws.

2) Nothing shalt be practical, a hipster shalt do everything for appearances.

2) Finally, a hipster shalt never claim to be a hipster.
Ye Application of The Laws of Hipsterism:

#1
Normal Person: Hey you want to go shopping with me?
Hipster female: No, I don't care about how I look.

(Hipster Female shalt then traverse to ye Olde Thrift store where thou shalt spend one full half day looking for garments)

#2
Normal Person: Hey! I like this artist. Their music is good!!

(Thou buys/downloads album to listen to)

Hipster Guy: *No inner monologue, for hipsters do not think consciously for themselves.

(Thou buys Vinyl to show ye others that thou purchases Vinyls.)

#3
Hipster One: I hate hipsters.

Hipster Two: Me too! God! I'm going to write an entry in Olde English and send it into Urban Dictionary that professes my hate for hipsters!!

Hipster One: Right on dude!! Hey you want to go to the thrift store afterwords to go buy records?

Hipster Two: Sorry man, but I can't I'll be pretty busy writing that entry and my fixed gear bike's in the shop right now.

Hipster One: It's cool dude...I...I love you.

Hipster Two: I...I love you too.
________________________________________________

THESE ARE THE RULES TO BE SPREAD FAR ABOVE THE SKY AND ACROSS THE LAND: FOREVER AND EARNESTLY, UN-IRONICALLY AND FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND!!!
by smellls November 6, 2011
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Jacob's Law

During a board game, a player, who has played the game more than once, cannot change their decision for a more advantageous one, once they have finished their turn. A turn that is over, is over!!!
Player 1's turn ends... During player 2's turn, player 1 says... " NO WAIT... I did not mean to do that." Player two says, "Jacob's Law"
by mmaerzluft February 1, 2022
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Scout Law

A Scout is:

a. Trustworthy in the streets.
b. Courteous in the sheets.
Example of using the Scout Law:

Scout 1: "A scout is trustworthy in the streets..."

Scout 2: "And courteous in the sheets."
by Mercedes78 November 17, 2022
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Fido's Law

Dogs expand to fill the sofa available.
Mutt: Dude--I can't sit down. Your sofa's completely covered with dogs.

Jeff: Fido's Law, man.
by Two Hep Cats June 2, 2013
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Smith's Law

Should a tool fall from your hand while being used, it will come to rest in the least accessable spot every time.
Mechanic 1: Damn! I just dropped my wrench behind the engine.

Mechanic 2: Sounds like Smith's Law to me.
by PowerTryp December 30, 2010
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Logan's Law

√x + √x = √4x

A useful formula contrived during a math class.
By Logan's Law: √4 + √4 = √16, or 2+2=4
by LSinQuebec December 16, 2009
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Law of Gravity

(G * m1 * m2) / (d2)
Hey, did you just break The Law of Gravity? That's illegal you know
by Erufailon February 5, 2010
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