Absolute Spank

When you want to call someone a douchebag, but it's not harsh enough.

"Man, that guy Brandon is an absolute spank!"

by nonicknam3 November 25, 2017

that's absolutely bonkers

Used by anime - loving/band kids who spend their time on discord trying to say this phrase.

Person A: Yo bro you hear about ur mom cheating on ur dad
Person B: That's absolutely bonkers bro

by Grammar Error August 14, 2023

isak, the absolute chair man

A man who owns a server who normaly makes his staff suffer with jobs that are way too hard

please save them

"this isak, the absolute chair man man i like"
"yea me too"

by manMansan March 2, 2022

Absolute Monarchy

An endangered governing system.

All power on the king.

Easy to be abdicated.

The King's term ends when he dies or abdicated.

The King's children are his successors.

Used to dominate most of the world's government.

Saudi Arabia is an example of absolute monarchy.

by Hectare Acres July 14, 2023

absolutely wallpapered

Absolutely wallpapered is when you have drank so much alcohol and smoked so much weed that you are absolutely wallpapered and can’t even get up to go for a wee

“I need a piss mate but I’m absolutely wallpapered that I can’t be arsed going for a wee”

by Stayout February 27, 2019

Ivan (absolute lad)

Guy with the biggest cock
Usually grows around 75 yards(68.58 meters)

Girl: Ivan (absolute lad) has the biggest cock
Girl's Best Friend: I can see, he's such a great guy.

by Inoco November 21, 2021

absolutes

The comparison of two items with properties. The first being that one average item trumps the other average item but if both items are "good" then the reverese is true and item 2 becomes better.

grass absolutes turf.

meaning your average turf is better than your average grass pitch but a good grass pitch is better than a good turf.
or
brunettes absolutes blondes.
meaning your average blonde is better looking than an average brunette but a 10/10 brunette is more attractive than the 10/10 blonde

by Oh My Goodness :O December 31, 2024