grandfather clock

When your girlfriend won't let you have sex with her because of her period.you then convince her to let you pull out her tampon with your teeth, you then sit on her chest and hold her arms down as you proceed to swing the blood soaked plug over her face like a pendulum

I gave Kristi a grandfather clock today

by brown Charlie August 09, 2008

punch the clock

Another euphemistic phrase coined by The Colbert Report, this time referring to the solitary action of masturbation -- "better than sex because it's on your time" therefore "Punching The Clock".

Stephen closed and locked the bathroom door, sighed, glanced at his watch, and proceeded to punch the clock.

by Not Stephen Colbert September 25, 2007

Clock Out

Clock Out- Throw up, Buck.

Clock Out - I'm about to fuckin' clock out broski!

by Barron Spencer June 15, 2008

biological clock

the loud ticking sound that wakes women up in the middle of the night once they begin to worry they may not have enough children to satisfy their maternal instincts (or insecurities), beware the woman who awakens in this state as it has been proven that they are highly fertile and irrational

last night my girlfriend woke up and started talking about saving $$$ for a wedding...?!?

by Tico June 20, 2004

cuckoo clock

When a man is having sex with a trach hole in a person's neck, deep enough to reappear through the mouth or other facial orifice, ejaculating at the top of the hour.

Noting the time, John skipped the Cincinnati Bow Tie and went straight for a cuckoo clock to commemorate the strike of midnight on New Year's Eve.

by cuckoo for cocoa puffs ! June 14, 2009

alarm clock

1. A device that is used so that a certain time, it will make a noise or disturbance to signify that you need to wake up or do something.

2. Having my friends call me up at various times of the day to wake me up from my sleep... a.k.a. Frances, Mark, Erin, and Adrian. Hahaha. LaMo...

1. A clock with a device to make a noise or disturbance.

2. "Call my phone in 30 minutes... or else."

by Alfonso G. July 25, 2004

Race the clock

To masturbate before your spouse gets home.

I got to go home and race the clock before my wife get home from work.

by Yellowbelly0804 January 23, 2010