both hands on my junk

A phrase used to indicate that one is more than competent to deal with a situation and, frankly, they've got this shit handled.

Don't worry about it.

"Well, sounds like you've got it handled."

"OH, I'M HANDLING IT WITH BOTH HANDS ON MY JUNK!"

by lol_words October 3, 2018

Dorito Hands

The condition you get when after you finish eating a bag of Doritos and you have Dorito crumbs all over your hands.

The only ways to fix this is either wiping it off on your pants or licking your hands until all the crumbs are gone.

Person 1: Hey man, why's your PlayStation controller all greasy?
Person 2: Oh, it's the Dorito Hands, man.

by hso_00 October 4, 2018

pink hand

A pencil pusher. Someone who doesn’t get their hands dirty, nor does any form of manual or physical labor. A person with no experience as a handy man.

Person One : “What brings you to the area?”

Person Two : “Well my brothers a pink hand so I’m here doing some maintenance work on his property for him.”

by Weird12u May 28, 2018

hand to mouth disease

Another nickname for obesity.

I have a case of hand to mouth disease and am fat.

by Kuehlstein May 30, 2018

hand celibate

When a person goes a period of time without masterbating, they can still receive oral or have sex.

A lot of guys are hand celibate for no nut November.

by Roman Archer June 30, 2019

Hand Camp

Another word for a man jerking off.

Step one: pitch tent in your pants
Step two: reach into tent
Step three: jerk your "pole"

Hey bro do you wanna go out to the bar or are you gonna stay home and Hand Camp?

Who needs a girl friend when I can hand camp alone

by JK3Z0 July 1, 2019

Hand Jig

Jacking off while singing show tunes.

Jacking another man off while singing show tunes.

"Dude, I gave myself the best Hand Jig the other day while watching Grease".

" Man I went into the Mens restroom at Barnes and Knobles this morning and witnessed an elderly man giving another elderly man a Hand Jig while singing Jailhouse Rock".

by Badilla July 3, 2019