John is probably disassociating right now. Slipping in and out of dismal self doubt and a mind void of thought or reason. A small drop of drool escaping the corner of his mouth catches his attention and, for a brief moment, he is aware of himself. Numbly, he checks his email to see if his favorite store has a discount code for something he might find vaguely interesting. Buying and consuming is one of the few ponds of dopamine not yet fully dried up in the barren desert that is his sinking consciousness.
A chime sounds off. He is receiving a call.
He is excited more now than he has been all day!
Rushing to flush the toilet and wash, he checks the number. It is unknown.
“Hello? John speaking!” He barks, almost dropping his cracked iPhone 7.
“Hi John, can you hear me?”
A sweet voice coos from the line.
“Yes, of course! What can I do for you?”
He says curiously.
“Hi John! My name is Anna. We have been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.”
...
A chime sounds off. He is receiving a call.
He is excited more now than he has been all day!
Rushing to flush the toilet and wash, he checks the number. It is unknown.
“Hello? John speaking!” He barks, almost dropping his cracked iPhone 7.
“Hi John, can you hear me?”
A sweet voice coos from the line.
“Yes, of course! What can I do for you?”
He says curiously.
“Hi John! My name is Anna. We have been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.”
...
by SomeoneAnyoneJustNotJohn November 22, 2021
Get the John mug.An enemy in Pizza Tower that activates Pizza Time if you grab dash into him or run into him (mach 2-4)
Player: *runs into pillar john*
Pillar John: *Activates pizza time*
Player: *runs all the way back to the exit*
Pillar John: *Activates pizza time*
Player: *runs all the way back to the exit*
by Pendolumblade June 20, 2023
Get the Pillar John mug.John-Fakte (John-behaviour in English) is the official name of the disease of always wanting to touch or destroy everything in sight. The official name, "John-fakte" is Norwegian, and originates from the person who "invented" the disease, John TV. (His last name will always remain a secret). The disease spreads very fast, and in the worst case scenario, it can destroy other people. There is currently no cure in existance for the dangerous disease, doctors are still working hard. If a person has the "John-Behaviour", he/she will typically try to annoy you and destroy your belongings, especially technology.
"Dude, what happened to my computer? I just left it here on my desk, and now it's destroyed!"
"It might have been the rare John-fakte/John-Behaviour!"
"It might have been the rare John-fakte/John-Behaviour!"
by Verngris June 11, 2019
Get the John-Fakte/John-Behaviour mug.by Dhdhdbd May 6, 2021
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Get the Luka Dylan John Jarvis mug.by Factman007 July 26, 2017
Get the john borush mug.When you have sex or masturbate in the kitchen or other area that involves food being cooked or prepared
by The aglet of gods January 24, 2024
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